Learn the One Rule for Love and Dating

By

Learn the One Rule for Love and Dating
Stop following contradictory rules and focus on just one to see the best results in attracting love.

Are you playing with the law of attraction and dating, getting frustrated with all the rules? Isn’t it strange how you hear advice from different teachers and they seem to contradict each other? I dove into the personal development to find the secret to love and found myself spinning from one teaching to another, getting confused as to what was the right path to follow. Throughout my twenty years of self-discovery, I finally realized that out of all I learned that following just ONE RULE is the key that never fails and always makes me empowered.

Most of you know that your thoughts create your life. You are the creator (or co-creator with God) of your life experience. The law of attraction states what you think you become. However, many people abandon this law when things take too long or they aren’t seeing the results they want such as finding their true love. They start to live by another rule when they make up excuses as to why they haven’t met their dream guy yet, believing that external circumstances are more powerful than themselves.

Oh, I’ve been there. I was doing all my inner work, knowing the one rule, but then I would fall back to the thoughts that I was in the wrong place, too old, too successful, not pretty enough, not thin enough or interesting enough. After proper self-abuse, I would exclaim that men are the problem and they just don’t want a commitment. I start beating myself up for not learning self-love earlier when I had a chance and when men were in the marrying age. I was in my late thirties and felt like love was next to impossible at this point. Yes, can you believe all that noise?

What happens when you go down that road in your mind is that you take yourself away from the center of power. You move from the One Rule that you are the creator to the bystander, succumbing to fate. You can attract what you want, but you add on top of that idea that randomly the divine intervenes and decides for you once in a while. When you play by the second rule, you no longer have power over your life and start making excuses like “everything happens for a reason.”

The most powerful thing you can do is to take responsibility for everything that happens to you in the process of attracting your guy. If you aren’t getting dates, find out why you are creating that. If you are meeting unavailable men, why are you attracting them? If the last guy you dated was a big jerk, why were you attracted to him in the first place? This process isn’t about beating yourself up, but rather say, “Oh, look at the results I am getting, let me see how I can shift inside to get a different result.”

The results you get in dating are in exact proportion to your beliefs whether they are conscious or subconscious. There are many ways to uncover why you are creating your perpetual single life. One thing you can do today is just ask yourself the question. Take a piece of paper out and write down, “I am not having any dates right now because…” and write whatever comes to your mind. At first, you will get all those crazy powerless excuses (men are jerks will probably show up), but then your inner wisdom will reveal the real issue that is stopping you. You cannot heal what you are not aware of, so doing this uncovering work can give you the insight you need to finally have a breakthrough in your love life.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debi Berndt

Author

Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:

Always Getting Rejected? 3 Ways To Love Yourself Anyway

By

You hear people tell you, "you have to love yourself first," before someone will love you. This common self-help quote didn't help me much. I tried to love myself. I took confidence workshops and I said my affirmations, but when someone I liked stopped calling, my positive thoughts turned into self-hate again. I thought, "What is wrong with ... Read more

Pop Your Comfort Bubble & Open Up To Love

By

Are you afraid of being alone and single? Do you wonder if the search for true love will ever be over? Do you obsess over the idea, "what if I never meet anyone?" Most singles say being alone scares them and they fear never meeting that special person. The unconscious mind, however, is always moving you away from what you fear and trying to keep you ... Read more

The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner

By

Do you keep attracting the non-committal man or woman? You can see a pattern, but feel like the cause is outside of you. You blame your love problems on Match.com or the city that you live in or the men or women your age, but the reason you don't have your true partner isn't about any of those things. The answer for your loneliness is unconscious and, ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB