If you know it all, why are you still single and broke?


If you know it all, why are you still single and broke?
The biggest block to getting what you want is to stop learning and growing.

A phrase often said by people who take a class or read a self-help book is “I know that already.” I used to say it all the time, too, and it was the one phrase that kept me stuck. After doing tons of personal development, I heard the same thing repeated by different teachers and would get anxious and hungry for fresh teachings. What I realized is that my frustration was really not about the information, but my own battle with the resistance to change.

You see, when you say I know that already and you don’t have the results you want, you are coming from a false state of arrogance. It isn’t your fault; your mind chatter is actually trying to distract you from making a true transformation in your life. Instead of digging deeper into a teaching, it wants you to skip over it and move on to something else as if you are putting a check mark down a list of things you know.


Think about it this way. We receive a lot of information consciously, but if we don’t integrate it on the subconscious level nothing will change. We just get more frustrated because we “know that already” and feel like we are not meant to have what we want or that we are beyond help. In order to change you need to move the information from your head to your heart.

The resistance inside of you will use everything in its power to stop you from growing. It will make personal growth painful so you don’t want to do it and then beat you up when you don’t see immediate results. You then get to the point where you just give up. The sole purpose of resistance is to stop you from growing and, if you listen to it, it will win and you will stay stuck.

This part of you that wants the status quo will blame others and the external world to keep you from looking within for the answers. If you can see this excuse for what it is, you can quickly dismiss it and prevent the chatter from keeping you in neutral.

If you don’t face what you are trying to avoid, nothing external is going to come in to magical change your life. The man won’t come in to rescue you, the dream career won’t just fall into your lap, and you will continue to be dissatisfied. The only way to the other side is to face your inner resistance and being a little uncomfortable in the process so you can truly free yourself.

The best way to build the strength to face your fears is to understand the cost that your current experience is having on your life. When your will to change is stronger than your fear of change, you can easily move through the obstacles – which are all INTERNAL.

To apply this lesson, simply put a pros and cons list on a sheet of paper. What are the benefits that you get from giving up? What are the drawbacks of not going deeper into an issue? Which is stronger? Come up with ways to make the benefits of giving up LESS appealing so you force yourself to keep moving toward your goal.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
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