How to be grateful during the holidays but still want more


How to be grateful during the holidays but still want more
Don't feel guilty about wanting more love in your life this year.

During Thanksgiving week, you are reminded to be grateful for the things and people in your life. When you are struggling with love or going through a breakup, the last thing that you may want to focus on is gratitude. You may be losing patience for your true love’s arrival or tired of dating men who just don’t turn you on. If your love life isn’t what you want, you may have trouble being grateful this time of year.

This spiritual idea of being at peace without wanting anything more was always a struggle for me. I used to wonder if that meant I have to settle for being single and stop complaining. I thought I had to give up my desires and attachment to external things to be truly enlightened. No matter how much I meditated and tried to let go, I still wanted my love life to change. I found it hard to imagine being satisfied until he arrived.


Whether you are single or in a relationship desiring it to go to the next level, you should not feel guilty for wanting more as long as you remember to be peaceful in the now. The natural law of life is to grow and expand so the good news is there is more to come. You are constantly in motion, growing toward something. You are not a static force. You have always been perfect, but never finished with the masterpiece of your life.

Imagine the fertilized cell in the womb during the time of conception, everything is perfect but incomplete. During development, the embryo passes through critical stages that must occur in order to create a baby. Within each phase there is perfection, but you are still in the process of growing. You were born and you were beautiful in that moment. As you stumbled to walk, each fall effectively led you to the next step you took. You eventually learned to balance and become stronger until you finally stood up on your own. Each moment of your life was perfect as you continued to grow into adulthood.

To desire to love and be connected to others is also a very natural drive and normal for every person. Each heartache and setback as well as every moment of inspiration that lifted you up was perfect. You have the choice to grow in the direction of faith or in despair, but you never stand still. You are continuously riding the wave of existence to having that romantic connection that makes you human.

Right now, you are perfect but never complete in your progression toward a greater life. You are here now, consciously aware of yourself in this amazing world with unlimited possibilities of love, money, health and more. As you spend the holiday sitting at the singles table wondering why your partner is not in your life yet, just remember that your love story is still unfinished. If you hold the energy of gratitude now, it will to carry you toward new love experiences that are waiting for you in the next moment.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
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