Facing Your Fears Can Build Your Dating Confidence

By

Facing Your Fears Can Build Your Dating Confidence
Going toward what scares you in dating can release hidden blocks to love.

Most people jump into personal development to help solve a problem. The real goal is to have a new experience or result whether it is a new love, a new career or a new level in income. In that desire itself, your subconscious has already built a trap for you because it doesn’t want to change. Clever little function, it rigs your progress and tries to get you to self-destruct before the change happens. Darn that subconscious!

Your subconscious isn’t mean or vindictive but is actually following your orders. Somewhere along the way in your early life you tried something and you were rejected, emotionally hurt or, in some cases, physically harmed. Since this deep mind’s goal is to move you from pain to pleasure, it will do whatever it can to help you avoid the pain again. For instance, if you wanted love from a certain family member and was turned away, hit or criticized, your subconscious will learn that reaching out causes a negative response and will talk you out of doing that again.

 

Many times this unconscious part of you leads you to more lasting pain because it doesn’t believe that there is another way. You learn to put up with bad behavior or get stuck in a cycle of dullness, never reaching for a new way to live and be with others. The subconscious is really, really afraid of new things because it doesn’t think in logical terms, it just repeats patterns it learned from the past. This conditioned response is safer than something unpredictable and that is why people have a difficult time changing.

Keep Reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debi Berndt

Author

Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:

Still Single? Here's Why You Need To Be Committed To Finding Love

By

When you think of marriage or other committed relationships, it is natural to also think that the commitment is bound by feelings. Sure you want to have loving feelings for the person you spend your life with, but the commitment piece should not be driven by feelings. This main reason for divorce or breakups is that people “fall out of love” and ... Read more

Are You Waiting To Win The Love Lottery? Then Stop Playing...

By

There is a huge difference between wanting a relationship and being emotionally ready to be in one. One of the main reasons why I see people struggle in finding love is that they are waiting for the relationship to come in and change their life instead of changing their life so they can have the relationship. Staying single may be how you find love. Do you ... Read more

Feeling That Crazy Chemistry? Watch Out! It May Be A Red Flag

By

Finding love should be as easy as following your feelings. If you look for chemistry, you cannot make a mistake, right? Wrong. The truth about default chemistry is that it is not related to love at all. If you are centering your love decisions on this feeling, you are sure to be heartbroken. Chemistry is what everyone is searching for in a partner. You ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular