Do You Suffer From Pre-Mature Love Manifestation?


Do You Suffer From Pre-Mature Love Manifestation?
You want love NOW, but are you ready for him?

Lisa was a successful, beautiful woman in her thirties. She wanted to get married, have children and she tried so hard to find a husband. She did a ton of self-help work and felt like she was ready for her dream guy. Every time she met a man who fit her list and she thought she had found “the one,” the relationship only lasted one to three months. The guy always ended up being unavailable emotionally for a long-term commitment.

She came to me frustrated asking me to help her use the law of attraction to manifest her mate. She wanted him NOW as she was reaching the edge of her thirties and time was running out to have children. I felt her pain because I was in her shoes but I knew that her desperation would work against her and she wasn’t ready. She would keep creating the same heartbreak scenario again as she still didn’t master the one key for lasting love.

The problem is that Lisa suffered from pre-mature manifestation. She didn’t have issues getting dates or interest from attractive, successful men. They flew in and out of her life like a revolving door; she just couldn’t get any of them to stick. She wondered if she was flawed, getting too old or needed to tone down her success because it intimated the men she dated. Her failures were only caused by her inability to see her value and the discipline of mind to hold the idea that she was the prize. In other words, she lost her mojo when she liked someone.

There is a strange statistic with lottery winners. 70% of them go bankrupt within five years of winning their prize. Why is that? They didn’t have the mindset to hold on to the money. The subconscious ideas of poverty were still active and created the experience of lack even in the midst of wealth on the external level.

The same thing happens with attracting love. You could randomly draw in a great guy, but if your mind is not set up to receive great love, the relationship will fail. If you come from a love poverty mentality, such as needing him to complete you, you can kiss the new romance goodbye before it even gets off the ground. Worse, you can remain in a relationship filled with internal angst wondering if he is going to leave at anytime. Either way, the picture isn’t pretty and you are feeling worse because you had a taste of what you want but couldn’t hold on to it.

So many singles think that if they just manifested their mate, all will be well. They justify their plight away with explanations such as he just wasn’t the right person or it wasn’t the right timing and that somehow destiny would work its way out. I used to think that too, and I wasted over two decades waiting for my luck to turn around until I finally realized that the master key to lasting love was within me, not in finding my ideal guy.

An easy way to check if you are truly ready for love is to see how you react if you have to wait another year to find each other. If that makes you feel anxious or fearful, you most probably need to work on letting go of the neediness you feel for a relationship. You have to stop believing that the relationship will save you, make you feel better about yourself or give you something you don’t already have. If you don’t address this, you will magnify the needy feelings when you meet someone and he will be gone before the relationship gets warmed up.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:

Why You Must Stop Believing The Alpha Male Hype


The dating world is flooded with this idea of how to get an alpha male and how to be an alpha male. While the "alpha" concept on the surface seems reasonable, you want a confident person and attract a confident person but I believe this advice can lead to heartache for both men and women. The people who teach this don’t realize that there is ... Read more

Afraid You'll Never Find Love? Get Over It


Do you feel that no matter what you do, nothing seems to work out for you in your love life? The years are passing and you fear that you will be spending the rest of your life alone. Sometimes the fear is so great that you break down and get triggered after a bad date or someone you liked fell away. Your fearful ego is driving your efforts and, instead of ... Read more

Always Getting Rejected? 3 Ways To Love Yourself Anyway


You hear people tell you, "you have to love yourself first," before someone will love you. This common self-help quote didn't help me much. I tried to love myself. I took confidence workshops and I said my affirmations, but when someone I liked stopped calling, my positive thoughts turned into self-hate again. I thought, "What is wrong with ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular