Can clearing your blocks KEEP you single?


Can clearing your blocks KEEP you single?
Learn how the process of healing your blocks can backfire and give you the opposite effect.

Yes, I have “worked” on myself for decades. Struggling with relationships and trying to find my life’s passion, I sought out every healing technique available to get me to my goals faster and easier. The harder I tried to fix myself, the more I uncovered that was dysfunctional about me. Instead of feeling empowered and strong, I became more frustrated like I was never going to change.

The struggle I experienced wasn’t in what I was doing, but how I was approaching personal development. My attention was squarely on what was wrong with me, my life, and my heartbreaks. Instead of creating a new life, I was drudging up the past like picking a scab that would never heal. It felt like I tugged on a pull in a sweater and the whole thing kept unraveling. I wondered if I was better off just not going there in the first place.

I didn’t want to take a pill to feel better so I continued to search for a natural way to heal my pain. I did tons of meditations for release, got astrology and psychic readings so I could get some sign that my life will improve, and even soaked in a tub of pomegranate juice to clear the negative relationship energy. Looking back I now realize that the way I was using these techniques was actually the same thing as taking a pill, all it did was numb the pain temporarily.

Now, I love using healing modalities. There are so many wonderful healing tools out there, but if misused to skip over or avoid pain they end up backfiring on you just like a drug. Eventually it wears off and you are back where you started. If you just use the techniques alone, you are leaving out a critical piece – receiving the wisdom that lies within each obstacle that gives you the ability to grow and create the life you want

You cannot truly clear any negative beliefs, they always remain with you. When you work on them, you actually make them stronger because you are suppressing them deeper into your subconscious. It may feel good for a while on the surface, but have you noticed that the same darn thing pops up again in a situation later down the road like that whack-a-mole game at the fair? You wonder, I thought I cleared that!

To truly break the patterns of the past, you must face these obstacles and uncomfortable feelings head on as they are the KEY to your transformation. Many times when you start off on a healing journey, it feels as though everything is thrown up in your face and you want to run the other way. So many people get discouraged and give up in this phase. However, if you keep moving through the resistance you are building strength, power and eventually transcend to a higher place.

In essence, nothing negative is truly cleared, but what actually happens is that the little problem ceases to have control over you and you are no longer dragged along with your default emotional reactions. You will always have positive and negative feelings as long as you are a human being. But you can rise above anything that life throws at you and will be ready to take on bigger challenges rather than shrinking back when things get uncomfortable. This is true freedom.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
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