Are you afraid of screwing up in dating?


Are you afraid of screwing up in dating?
You cannot make a mistake with the right one, find out why.

Women love to talk about relationships. They get together with fancy cocktails and dish on dating. They are always trying to understand men and solve that age-old question, “what should I do so I don’t scare him away?” If your friends didn’t have the answers, you may have buried yourself in the relationship section of the bookstore to get clarity or just did a Google search to find the solution from a plethora of dating experts at your fingertips. Uncertain of how to navigate a new relationship, you do all you can to avoid making a big mistake.

Unfortunately, most advice out there, from friends or experts, doesn’t really help and leaves you frustrated. Even the awareness that he may not be that into you is just a slap in the face that you don’t know what to do with. The answer for the correct code of behavior seems to elude most single people searching for true love and you are left always questioning your next move like walking in a mine field.


Since common attraction may not happen very often, you may tend to hang on to the latest catch as if he was your last hope. Do you feel like you have to be on your best behavior when you finally make a connection with a guy you like? Careful with your words and actions, you can’t relax and just be yourself for risk of screwing it up. Especially after reading the books about why he didn’t call you back or why he left, you are armed with all the foibles of ladies past determined not to repeat their blunders.

There is an easy solution to navigating the way to love and it doesn’t involve memorizing steps to follow to guarantee success. You are about to breathe a sigh of relief because I believe you can do everything wrong and the right guy will still love you. It is that simple.

Now, I know there will be many people who may disagree with my theory. Experts may tell you that you should understand what men want or what women want, and if you don’t do those things you will be a failure in relationships. Aside from heinous, sadistic acts, I can tell you story after story about women who have really “stepped in it” the first few weeks of dating someone new and they still couldn’t shake the right guy away even if they tried.

When true love comes into your life, he won’t love you because you are perfect but because you are YOU. If you are simply your authentic self and he rejects that, he wasn’t the one. The ideal partner is the kind that you can show all of your good and all of your not-so-great qualities and he won’t walk away.

Most advice I read when I was single was about changing who I was to be the woman a man wants to marry. This made me feel terrible, more insecure, awkward and inauthentic. Of course, the façade I put up worked to attract men, but all the wrong men because I wasn’t being me.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
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