Alone on Valetine's Day? Having faith in love again


Alone on Valetine's Day? Having faith in love again
Finding it hard to have hope that true love is out there for you? Here's how to change your mind.

After being on the market for a while or enduring the pattern of one failed relationship after another, you may begin to lose hope that your love life will get better one day. More than improving your looks or your dating missteps, the one element that is critical in attracting the love you want is to believe that there is someone out there for you.

I know you may feel the evidence is stacked up against you. All you need to do is look at your past and find it difficult to see a different outcome. Although hard to conceive, there is a part of you that does have hope that you will find your ideal partner or you wouldn’t be reading this article right now. The problem is that the doubter in your mind may be louder than the one who is clinging on to any shred of light that leads to a possibility of true love.

If you allow the skeptic to control your thoughts, you will automatically be distrusting of any potential partner who shows you interest. This downtrodden voice will hide out, make excuses to avoid social contact or drive you to return back to your ex because it believes that there is no one better out there. As you succumb to the influence of this cynic, you will be pulled deeper into a hole of despair and feel powerless to external circumstances. You will really start to believe that being single is your permanent fate.

In order to shift the energy of thought, you don’t need to fight the doubter and try to convince him or her that love is possible. This would be as difficult as trying to convince someone to change religions or political parties. Instead, ignore the bitter skeptic and refocus your mind on that part of you that still remains hopeful. There is a beacon of faith deep inside that you can nurture and grow.

As you feed the hope within, your thoughts will shift and create a chain reaction of attracting new experiences and opportunities that support the possibility of true love. Your state of being will be lighter and you will be more attractive to the opposite sex. You will find the experience much more enjoyable than listening to the voice of the inner pessimist.

At first, you may experience a battle between these two forces. One is not stronger than the other alone, but what feeds their power is your attention. As you consciously choose to focus on the hopeful voice, it becomes more influential and dominant in your life. After about thirty days of taking back the reins of your mind, you will be naturally more positive and upbeat. Hope will become your new habit.

Getting discouraged is normal but your future is not fixed based on what happened to you in the past. Sometimes it is difficult to remain hopeful because you can’t see love coming. No one I know has ever predicted the timing of their true love, as your ideal partner shows up without warning. If you search for evidence to build a case for hope, you won’t find it. All you have to rely upon is keeping the door to love open with faith.

Remember that there is no such thing as “false hope.” You either have hope or you do not. With faith, you attract the love you want and with doubt you repel it. Give hope a chance to do its magic. You are more powerful than you realize and can shift your love destiny by refocusing your mind.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
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