it doesn't happen by accident...
Being in love is one of the most uplifting experiences in life.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always end well. You could end up abused, neglected, betrayed, and miserable — or worse.
It's critical to make wise choices in your relationships so your experiences with love can bring joy and fulfillment to your life.
Letting your heart rule your head is romantic. Instant sexual attraction and lasting love do not necessarily go hand-in-hand.
And you should never get involved with someone you plan on trying to change.
But you can keep yourself safe when you involve your brain in the process of finding love.
In fact, if you want to find a healthy, happy relationship, you need to invite your brain to join your heart in your quest to find lasting love.
When it comes to romantic partners, spotting any red flags that appear will help you have only healthy, strong relationships.
Some examples of major red flags you might see in the beginning of your relationship:
- He doesn’t want you to meet his family.
- He wants you to change certain things about yourself.
- He doesn’t introduce you to friends (possibly because he has none).
- The relationship is alcohol-dependent.
- There is no one-on-one time between you two.
- He speaks negatively of his ex.
- He changes the "rules" of your relationship constantly.
- He is rude to servers and other people in service positions.
- He pretends he didn’t see a text or a phone message.
- He won't spend time with your friends.
Remember, what you desire in a relationship is important.
What are you searching for?
Are you doing the right things and going to the places that will attract someone who's a good fit for you? Or are you just looking for anyone?
Finding the right person through understanding yourself:
When you're looking for the right person, there are techniques that contribute to your success in finding the relationship you desire. The first thing you should do is to ensure you're ready for a relationship.
Here are some ways to prepare for a great relationship:
1. Know yourself.
Build a relationship with yourself.
Are you content with being on your own? Any romantic relationship you enter into should be because you care about that person and yourself.
If it's only to avoid being lonely, it's probably not the best choice for you.
2. Know what your primary goals in life are.
When looking for a person to share your life with, you want one who shares your goals, dreams, and values.
Avoid settling for someone who doesn’t share your values. Your long-term happiness could be affected as well as the happiness of your partner.
3. Stay focused on your goals.
Giving up your dreams and desires for someone else seldom works well.
You want to be in a relationship with someone who encourages you to pursue your dreams.
When you find someone who encourages you, they are a keeper.
4. Remember it's not a race.
Choosing someone just so you aren't alone is unfair to both of you.
The person you're looking for will appear when the time is right. Avoid trying to force it. Your time will come when you least expect it!
As hard as it may be, try to be patient.
5. Be healed.
Look at any past negative patterns you have had in relationships.
If you can identify these, ask yourself why this happens? If you need to work on this, do it before dating.
Heal from previous relationships before starting a new one.
6. Don’t look too hard.
You will find the perfect person by doing the activities you enjoy.
I met my husband because I needed a statistics tutor and that is how he came into my life. I was not looking for him, but we found each other anyway.
Practice makes perfect.
Go out on some practice dates. Enjoy!
8. Finally, eliminate the toxic people in your life.
You need cheerleaders!
Choosing relationships wisely can really make an important difference in your life.
People who care for you will support and uplift you, rather than drag you down.
Surround yourself with people who support you and share your goals, dreams, and values.
The truth is, intimacy is far more than sexual. Intimacy is a closeness of mind, body, and soul that fulfills your passions in life.
If you're feeling an imbalance or you're feeling used, confront the other person or get out of the relationship.
All intimate relationships must be mutually beneficial, healthy, and happy.
By avoiding harmful relationships, you'll gain a healthy confidence that will benefit your physical and mental health. Remember the red flags and tips on being ready for a relationship so you can attract positive, healthy people into your life!
Remember, finding the right person is just the start of the journey, not the destination.
Deb Eastwood is a powerful and loving Divorce Recovery Coach who works directly with women who are ready to create a new life. You can dream of the life you want, and she can help you achieve it through tools with which her clients begin to see changes immediately. Click here now to schedule a 25-minute complimentary coaching call.