Do you put as much grit into your relationships as into careers, education and your hobbies?
Where are you most successful in your life? How did that success come about? Was it intelligence, education and talent or maybe just dumb luck?
According to Angela Lee Duckworth, Ph.D, who studies achievement, true success takes more than intelligence and talent, which so many of us have. She also reminds us that attaining a level of expertise in any field takes 10 years of dedicated perseverance. In other words, the one thing that separates the world-renowned performers, artists, researchers, and high-achievers is GRIT.
You can watch her TedX talk here.
This got me thinking about where we choose to develop our expertise and why. Most of us would not argue that investing in education, mentors and business coaches is an essential element for success.
Do we place the same priority on investing in ourselves on a personal level? When it comes to mastering our communication skills and relationships, why do we hesitate to make the investment in finding support to ease our awkwardness, our pain, or fear about facing our fears and vulnerability? Probably, because we are afraid of being vulnerable and appearing weak. Is the answer in the proverbial question?
I got to thinking about the 10 years it takes to be an expert in your field, too. Does it take 10 years of partnership before you can claim your expertise in interpersonal relationships and communication? The answer to that one is probably up for grabs for many. If it were yes, it might be very discouraging to even risk the vulnerability of getting into a relationship. Yet, do you wonder sometimes why people keep repeating the same mistakes and attract the same partner in a different package?
Competent communication and passionate compatibility shouldn't take 10 years to master. However, if you are seeing the same patterns and getting the same dissatisfying results, then it's time to take a look at what is going on, and I mean a deep look. Communication coaching is your best ally for getting the results you want in your relationships, but like anything else, it means making the decision to do whatever it takes to succeed, an investment and grit to dig into those caverns that you may not want to explore, to learn to exercise your authentic communication muscles. Creating the life and relationships you want takes grit.
Where are your greatest successes in life and what did it take to achieve them? How much of it was thanks to your grit?
I'm so glad you are here! If you liked this post, please leave your comments and feel free to share it with family and friends.
If you're wondering if you've got the grit it takes to succeed, if you and your partner are still compatible, if you're frustrated at not being heard, feel like your needs are not being met or you say "Yes" when you really want to say "No" and take things personally, then you should definitely contact me today about my innovative online Compatibility Index. In less than 60 minutes, I can tell you exactly why you are no longer feeling compatibility with your partner, why you are struggling in your conversations and give you tips and strategies for communicating your needs and desires confidently, elegantly and guilt-free!