Consciousness, the first "C" of Passionate Compatibility or how to stop judging yourself and others.
"Is this as good as it gets? Is this what love really is? There has to be something I’m not doing right.” “I’m over 40 and too old for love. I never get a second date and besides, all the good ones are taken anyway.”
And the list of debilitating dating discussions just goes on and on. Sounds pretty dismal, doesn’t it? Are you ready to dig deep and become more conscious?
"Consciousness comes when we stop judging ourselves and others."
Whether we think we’ve got it all together or think we’ll never get it right, we consciously or subconsciously judge ourselves one way or another as being good or bad, right or wrong, too old, not loveable enough, too fat, not talented or smart enough, or something else equally unappealing and untrue. We unconsciously sabotage our own success and trudge on through life wearing our muddy combat boots from all our past relationships, traumas and heartache, unaware of the negative vibes we’re broadcasting to the world. We’re on guard, build up walls to protect us from thorny situations and failure, and the one thing we become really good at is collecting evidence to prove ourselves right! Then we can righteously state without a shadow of a doubt: “I never get a second date.” “Men can’t handle me.” “My husband doesn’t understand anything.” And we’ve got the evidence to prove it!
I can hear a collective, “Yeah!”
Consciousness is the awareness of “WHO” we really are, not the “WHO” we think we should be according to the beliefs we have accumulated through every experience we have ever had. “WHO” we believe we are determines what we want to become, the choices we make and how we do things. Unknowingly, we are held hostage by our beliefs.
The wonderful thing about becoming conscious is that once we realize, fully love, fully accept and fully embrace “WHO” we really are and want to become, without judgment, we open ourselves up to the myriad possibilities of Life. We believe that we deserve to love and be loved unconditionally. When we start living in the present and are in tune with our core values and self-worth, we begin attracting abundance and prosperity into our love life as well as into our personal and professional lives. We open ourselves up to the sheer abundance of Love surrounding us and to the people just waiting to bestow it on us. Best of all, we know how to recognize and embrace Love when it shows up. Now, “WHO” wouldn’t want that?
Passionate Compatibility Tip #1
Kick off the Combat Boots of Self-Judgment
• Next time you hear yourself saying, “I’m not good enough,” ask yourself “Really? According to whom?” How true is that?
• Next, think of a role where your True Self shines. Are you a volunteer, a creative artist, a best friend, parent, or a trusted computer geek? Here's where it gets fun! I’m giving you total permission and bragging rights for taking center stage in your performance of your Best True Self. No one does it better than you! What do you enjoy most about this role? What makes it really fun and motivates you to be the best you can be? How do you know you’re really good at what you do? And most of all, feel your posture when you know you are at your best. I’ll bet you’re standing tall and proud, shoulders back and chest forward, ready to tackle whatever comes your way with a “nothing stops me” attitude.
• Finally, identify where you are hiding in the shadows of self doubt in your relationship. Acknowledge your doubts and then ask yourself what part of you is keeping you a prisoner and why. Think about your answers above and fully imagine being in one of the roles where Your True Self shines. Feel your posture and energy shift then step into and through your doubts with the same confidence you know you have in other roles. It’s not about bragging here. It’s about being authentic and honest and feeling empowered, knowing you can face your fears squarely and rise above them.
Now it’s time to kick off those Combat Boots and make 2012 Your Year of Passionate Compatibility!