Separate vacations – When I was married and living in France, my husband and I took separate vacations along with our family vacations and also carved out time to be together just the two of us. When I would visit my family in Los Angeles, I jealously and ferociously kept a full week just for me, my family, my mom and my girlfriends, without my husband and kids who were happy to see me happy. There is nothing like total freedom when no one is waiting for you compared to having your partner wait outside a store in the mall, arms crossed and people watching with you feeling like you have to rush because patience does have its limits. When he would arrive the following week, I was ready to spend time with him on a “real vacation” having gotten all the family and girlfriend catching up, necessary shopping and girl stuff out of the way. Likewise, when he would take his annual week to go ski trekking with friends, I got to have all that time to myself to creatively organize my schedule just around me. Our motto at those times was, “I’m happy to see you go have fun and I can’t wait to celebrate when you come back!” And celebrate we did!
What would your relationship be like if you viewed separation as something you built in and cherished as a source of renewal instead of assuming there were ulterior motives?
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What are some of the ways you've built personal space into your relationship?