3 Tips To Gain A Sense Of Control
By Deb Dutilh. Posted on .
2. Change your perceptual position from your own to that of the other person. When you meet confusion or resistance, hesitation or hostility, stepping into the "other position" helps you to create rapport, understand, empathize and consider others accurately and thoughtfully. Step into their shoes for a moment and see the situation from their point of view. What are they hearing, seeing or feeling? What would they like to hear being said to them? What do they want? This doesn't mean saying, "If I were you..." It means understanding what they are feeling. The Kiss Of Death For Relationships Revealed!
Now, imagine that you are observing the situation between you and the other person take place on a stage. How do you sound? How does the other person sound? Now what do you see? Seen from a neutral "observer position" the stress lessens and you can shift gears and start to see the forest again.
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3. Practice Detached Involvement. This means that you live your life as both a participant and an observer at the same time. You experience life and your journey without judging them as being good or bad, right or wrong. Because you choose to simply live the experience, you regain complete control of your responses to what life offers you. You're both fully involved and detached from being influenced by emotions and outcomes.
Once you've easily mastered detached involvement, you can more quickly focus on the moment and step into your true power. Here are the simple steps to learning how to practice Detached Involvement:
• Quit taking things personally.
• Make no assumptions.
• Make as few judgments as possible.
• Say goodbye to the need to be right.
• And say goodbye to the need to control.
• Be passionate about all your experiences, including the painful ones. There is always something to learn from them. Get Over It! 6 Ways To Overcome The Painful Past
• No matter what you do, give it your all and share your gifts.
• Detach from the allure of future outcomes.
So there you have it. Next time someone pushes your buttons and you feel the urge to point your finger, be right and defensive, remember these 3 super easy and effective tips and give yourself complete permission to be "controlling." Just remember who and what you get to control.
Here's to your new success as a masterful control freak!
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