#3 Intuitive Listening is when you pay attention not only to what is being said, but to the tone of voice and tuning into what’s NOT being said. It’s really listening between the lines without judging, assuming or interpreting and really connecting with the speaker. If you do feel a need to respond, you can acknowledge what happened and validate their feelings as being normal and expected, as my friend did for me. However, quite often, just letting the person get their feelings out and bounce their words off you is enough.
In couples, different ideas, beliefs, assumptions and our inner subconscious reactions act as a filter to what our partner is really saying. We often have selective hearing when we forget to focus our listening. Compassion means placing yourself in their experience, seeing though their eyes, hearing through their ears and feeling through their heart. It allows you to connect with your partner without judgment, without giving your opinion or trying to fix them.
Next time listen with your heart and create that safe haven for vulnerability and emotions to be released. You don’t have to say anything at all. Thank the other person for trusting you enough to share their feelings and reassure them that you are here to receive their emotions in a safe way. Then be quiet. And wait. Don't be tempted to fill the silence. You'll know when it's your time to speak up.
So often, just hearing our pain spoken with our own words in our own voice is enough to shift our energy in a really big way. When your heart begins to swell warmly with gratitude from others for all that you have not said, and people come to you to share their stories, you'll know that you've mastered the three types of listening and are ready to share your generous gift of silence with others.