Act like you’re having fun when you’re out and in the presence of men, and especially when around a man you’re interested in. This may sound like a no-brainer to some of you, but believe me, there is a reason why I put this at #1 and it’s because the majority of women don’t even do this one simple act when they’re in the presence of men or in a public venue. You MUST be smiling. Smile, act confident, make eye-contact and gaze at him (on and off), and keep your arms open or to your side (but not crossed).
Women often don’t realize that when they are feeling scared, nervous or out of their comfort zone, they often look angry or irritated and completely unapproachable. And guess what? When you’re not smiling and not looking approachable, guess what? Men will conclude that you’re “unapproachable” and – surprise – not approach you.
They’ll look to other women who look friendlier and more open. Relax and fake friendliness and confidence, even if you don’t feel it. Only then will he consider approaching you. Talk and laugh with your friends, laugh into your cell phone with a friend, even smile if you are reading (so he’ll wonder why). You want to send the message that you are fun and have an awesome life full of wonderful friends that he might like to be a part of.
And believe you me, men have their own little system for determining whether a girl is worth it to approach or not. They are observing you before you even notice them and realize it, because they are evaluating whether or not the odds are in their favor of having a positive approach, if they muster up the courage to do it. They don’t want to get shot down and risk looking like a fool. So, they look at the following factors:
1) Your physical appearance,
2) Whether you’re smiling and look friendly, and
3) How you treat OTHER guys!
Yes, this last one is a very important one, albeit unknown to many women. If you get approached by other guys that you are NOT interested in, or other guys try to chat you up that you aren’t interested in, but you’re mean to them or diss them or don’t give them the time of day, Guess what? The guys that you WOULD be interested in that are waiting in the wings deciding if they’re going to approach you are not? You just lost your chance with them.
They see that, and determine that you’re a biotch and must not want to talk to any guys, or you have a boyfriend… so they’ll walk away and set their sites on a different girl who has a better attitude and a smile, and who they conclude they’ll have “better odds” with.
So the moral here is, there may always be a man watching you, and it may just be the man of your dreams – so always be friendly, nice and respectful to ALL guys who approach and talk to you, even if he’s a whale or nerd and you’re totally not interested in him.
You can still be polite and politely tell him that you’re not interested, but thank you – rather than coldly shooting him down. Because not only is this just better man-Karma for you all around if you’re nice and friendly to everyone, but you’ll be getting approached a lot more by men you ARE interested in. So wipe that scowl off your face and mind your Ps & Qs!
2). Act “Available.”
Project Open & Available Body Language. Give him several “Windows of opportunities,” as I like to call them, to approach you. Be approachable, not only in attitude, but literally.
Men don’t want to (and often will not) come over to you and your girlfriends when you’re huddled together in a group. And especially will not if there are some male friends lingering around the group as well – (How are men supposed to know if those guys are your boyfriends, husbands, or what??)
The risk of rejection is very high for them in those situations and over the years they’ve built up a resistance toward walking over to you and your girlfriends, especially when the guy is solo. So when you see a guy you like, you must be able to break away from your friends and give him that chance to come over to you.
It’s kind of like code for “okay, I’m making it easier for you, come get me now.” So when you’re out with your friends, family, or whatever… find a reason to move about the venue ALONE.
3. Make good Eye Contact!
This is SO important. How is a guy to come over to you or even be motivated to want to, if you’re not even making eye contact with him!
When you notice a guy looking at you, look back at him. Make eye contact with him and hold his gaze for a second. Then look away for a few seconds, and look at him again. Do NOT look away or look down when you see a guy is looking at you (unless you’re totally uninterested in him).
Do not get flustered or embarrassed if a guy is looking at you. Confidently hold his gaze, and look back at him. And as you’re doing so, it helps to visualize yourself shooting a surge of positive, sexy energy from your eyes to his; Like a beam of light.
Thinking this will actually do just that, and you’ll be exuding a positive, sexy energy and a sparkle in your eyes that will lure him to come and talk to you. Practice this visualization. It works.