Dating is no longer about meeting for dinner or even a cup of coffee, now it is meeting over the internet. The name of the game is no human contact for a first date but a casual encounter over Skype or endless pictures and texting. I am not sure if this is just a result of the economy and the convenience of internet hook ups or if we have created a no physical contact society.
Being single a women myself, a clinical sexologist and relationship coach, and writer, I often do a lot of research on dating trends. One of the most interesting pieces of information that I gathered was the fact that the generation and I am referring to men in their 20’s are apprehensive about talking on the phone and meeting without pictures being sent and endless texting.
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A female client of mine in her early 20’s expressed her frustration with dating and meeting people. One instance she had was meeting a young man that she had never spoken to on the phone. All of their communication had been done through texting. When she asked him why he did not want to speak with her on the phone, he explained that he felt more comfortable texting than speaking. This is not the only client of mine that has expressed the same frustration.
Yes there are advantages of texting, or even Skyping minimally if used for safety precautions, or after meeting, but to spending endless time exchanging messages without first meeting is usually just a big waste of time. You can’t get the feel for chemistry with an individual via the internet. Our natural chemistry, pheromones and attraction takes place with physical contact, touching, looking into a person’s eyes and picking up on body language, communication is just a part of that exchange.
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One last bit of advice; people have forgotten how powerful non-verbal communication cues are, the next time that you do go out on a date, asked to meet in person. Take the time to talk face to face, watch how the other person reacts, look at them in the eyes. Men even more so then women communicate non-verbally. Dating can be fun after divorce, enjoy the experiences as they come, remember dating is to meet new people, and don’t limit yourself to just one.
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