You've heard it before: Quality over quantity!
Having sex with your spouse for the sake of just doing it, as a duty, a chore or for a quick release, in a long-term monogamous marriage will eventually lead to dissatisfaction, cheating and divorce. As couples grow older together, often times the sex in the marriage becomes boring to the point where the couple is no longer that interested. In the past where youthful hormones and passion just took over, as couples stay in long-term marriages, the sex has to continue to be satisfying.
Many studies suggest that having regular sex can be good for your health, but the reality is sex without orgasm or sex out of duty can have the opposite effect. A report done in 1976 in Psychosomatic Medicine concluded that an inability to reach orgasm may have a negative impact on women's hearts.
"A Swedish study found increased risk of death in men who gave up sexual intercourse earlier in life. The research was done on four hundred elderly men and women. At age seventy they were given a survey of their sexual activity and then followed over time. Five years later the death rates were significant higher among men who ceased sexual activity at earlier ages. (Quoted from Dr. Daniel G. Amen, M.D. In his book The Brain in Love)."
For both men and women the health benefits of having intimate, satisfying sex is what relieves stress and creates the loving connection that keeps the couple bonded and coming back for more. For many couples that have unsatisfying sex it can have the opposite effect, causing frustration, loneliness, not feeling good about oneself and unable to release the powerful hormones that produce the loving feelings towards one another.
Some women can be in marriages where sex causes frustration and lack of desire if they are unable to have an orgasm, or have hormone issues where they don't get aroused before intercourse. Why would a person want to have repeated sex without orgasms year after year? Unfortunately both men and women don't take this into consideration. For a man not having an orgasm for years he would find unimaginable, yet many women are faced with this in their marriage for years.
As some men age their desire for sex can decrease as well, with having to ask for sex from their wives, or the sex is no longer exciting. Perhaps his wife is not having orgasms and he feels that he cannot please her anymore. For many men that reach their 40s and 50s it takes more mental stimulation to get an erection and keep one. This is no different then what women experience most of the time, and that is the mental stimulation before intercourse. The ability to arouse the mind before even getting into the act of sex.
The solution to the sex starved marriage is to be proactive, and get help before it becomes too late. Talk to your spouse about ways to improve the intimacy in the marriage. One way to get started is with sensual massage, without the pressure of intercourse, touching and learning about each others bodies again. Another solution is making the time to have more intimate sex rather than hurrying to get it over with.
For more information on how to improve the intimacy in your marriage visit The Happy Spouse.
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- Spiritual Sex: 10 Erotic Commandments
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- Sex Stories #119: 'The Night I Roofied Myself