My Job As A Clinical Sexologist & Relationship Counselor


I have been stealing my girlfriends underwear and I can't stop, can you please help me?

I am sitting at the desk in my office writing my book when my clinical sexology hot line rings.

Hello I answer, who I am speaking with? He states his name, age and then proceeds to tell me about a situation where has been stealing his girlfriend’s underwear, and is not able to stop.


Being a trained professional in my field, nothing is as simple as someone states, so I ask my questions to dig deeper. When you take your girlfriends underwear do you masturbate in them or do you wear them, I ask? He pauses for a moment and then states that he indeed wears them. I say, you wear her underwear, and when you have those underwear on do you masturbate in them, is it a sexual feeling? At this point I am trying to figure out if he has a fetish for women’s underwear or perhaps it is not sexual at all. No, he says I don’t feel sexual wearing them. Perhaps, I ask do you like how the underwear feels, or makes you feel. He answers with a quick reply this time, I just like the way they make me feel, yes it is almost like I feel more

At this point, I have a better grasp on what he may be referring too, so I switch gears in my head trying to summarize the call as to what else may be going on. It seems to me that the nature of his call is less sexual at this point and more gender related.

I ask him, have you ever worn panties before, perhaps, a bra, or even tried on women’s clothing as a youth? He pauses and answers yes, I used to wear my mother’s bra and panties and sometimes her clothing in private. I have also worn the panties under my pants to work. I ask him, when you wear the panties, bra etc. Do you feel like a woman? Have you ever named yourself a woman’s name or called yourself by another name. Then there was a very long pause on the phone, and the answer was yes, I have referred to myself as Tina for a long time now.

I then say, Tina let’s set up another appointment for tomorrow and talk more about what you have been feeling for awhile now.

From this conversation about stealing panties, to six months later Tina, is no longer in a relationship with her girlfriend but exploring the possibilities of his/her own gender identity.

Stay tuned for more adventures from a clinical sexologist, please leave comments or your own story! For help with your sexual issues visit me at The Happy Spouse!

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael PhD ACS

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, PhD
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