My Job As A Clinical Sexologist & Relationship Counselor


“Well it is kind of embarrassing to talk about he says"

It was one of those calls that I take where I don’t know who the actual person is or what they are going to ask me. 

Sometimes it is simply a chat or an actual telephone call, working a “hot line” is much different than seeing my personal clients in my office, which I do both. I can only equate it to working in an emergency hospital where you have no idea who is coming in with what injury, or if the person took certain drug or pills that will thin their blood or alter their bio-chemistry.


I answer the chat and it starts off with me asking "Hello what is your name, your age", and any information I can get to assess the situation. Then the almighty question I ask “How can I help you?”

“Well it is kind of embarrassing to talk about he says, but I was having sex with my girlfriend and I lost my erection”.

Oh, I think to myself this is an easy call.

  I say to him “That is normal for most men at some point in their lives, but has it made you nervous and as a result are you losing your erection?  He said  “well yes that has already happened, we tried it again and the last time I was not even able to get it up”. I proceed to tell him “That can happen but now you are creating a problem in your mind, because you are nervous about it. When you get nervous you send a message to your body and you become frightened or embarrassed and then your adrenalin kicks in fight or flight mode, then the blood flow to your penis gets restricted and BOOM you lose your erection”.

I gave him a home assignment to do, and then told him to call me in the next few days. He followed my advice and we had a few more sessions and then the problem was fixed. He now understood why it happened, what to do if it happened again, and how to change his though process surrounding it.

Five sessions later and my job was done and my client no longer had problems with his erection.

The reason that I wrote this article about this call, is that this man was only 26 and if he had waited several more years to deal with this situation, it no longer could have been an easy fix. This situation is more common than one may think, but it is the reaction of the man that can either make it a problem or not, dealing with it quickly was the right thing to do.  If he had not resolved it, it could have created a bigger problem for the rest of his life.

More stories to come as the adventures of a clinical sexologist is revealed!

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael PhD ACS

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, PhD
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