Sex Talk: What's The Worst Libido Killer?


Sex Talk: What's The Worst Libido Killer?
What's the number one thing that can decrease your performance?

Your mind starts to wander and the stress begins to build, now you are no longer desiring to have sex with your spouse.

Stress causing lack of libido is more common than one can imagine. The economy is down, jobs are not readily available, children, and the cost of living is going up.


Stress of any kind can affect a person's sex drive, this is more evident in men.  Their ability to sexually perform is front and center, meaning if they lose their erection or not able to have one, it is obvious, with a woman it is more difficult to tell.  (If you are a man with this problem there is help!)

One of the most natural ways to release stress is to have a wonderful satisfying sex life, but getting your mind and body to relax enough to get there seems to be the challenge.

7 Solutions to help relieve the stress and get in the mood:

1.  Add music to the love making experience:  Music is a lovely way to distract the mind and help to relax the body.

2. Laughter is one of the most natural ways to let go of stress:  Having fun in bed together can help each other switch gears and let go of the days stressors, wrestle, tease, tickle, play a sexy game, make each other laugh!

3. Clean the room and get rid of the clutter:  Any work related items, bills, kids toys, keep the room clean and open to have a place to relax and to be intimate with your spouse.

4. Snap out of the stress:  When your mind goes to the place of stress snap you fingers and snap your mind to a new topic: Let out the stress and breath in relaxation, center your thoughts and be aware of them. Negative thoughts, need to be replaced with positive thoughts.

5. Touching each other:  Hugging, kissing, holding…human touch can be an amazing way to calm another person down, many times we run around and are so busy in our lives that we forget to connect with our spouse. A little cuddle time can always lead to some intimate sex afterwards...

6. Don’t eat before going to bed:  A full or gassy tummy is always a desire killer. High sugar foods as well as high fat foods, adds to the effects of stress on the body.  If you must eat, make it light.

7. Make it a point to have some fun with your spouse outside the bedroom:  Making time for you and your spouse to just have a day of enjoyment together, dinner, or a walk, hiking, wine tasting, whatever it is, make it a point to do it often.  Add a date night in each week if possible where the two of you can connect on an emotional level.  Add in some adult toys to spice it up!

For help with your marriage contact Dawn Michael at (805) 732-7847 or The Happy Spouse

More sex talk from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael PhD ACS

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, PhD
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