Keep the sex hot and exciting in a long term relationship


Keep the sex hot and exciting in a long term relationship
It’s hot, passionate, steamy, and sexy and you want it all night long…..

Yes, I am talking about the first few months of hot sex in a relationship and for the lucky ones a few good years. After a period of time it happens to most couples and that is “the sex gets boring in the relationship”. How does a person keep the sex hot and exciting in the relationship?

That is one of the questions that I get asked all the time as a sex therapist. In the book “Mating in Captivity”, the author talks about how domesticity is a part of the problem, but if a couple can become aware of this then they can continue to have hot sex. Any animal that gets domesticated gets lazy and that includes getting lazy concerning sex in the relationship.


Sex becomes expected instead of unexpected, routine instead of spontaneous, boring instead of exciting, keep it exciting.

The secret to great hot sex, exciting sex is to “create the sex scene” in the relationship, this does not have to be done all of the time, but it should be done most of the time and that is to make it a point to change up the sex, touch your partner in a different way, tease them throughout the day, buy sex toys, role play. Do what ever it takes to make the sex fun, fun sex is much more exciting than just having sex to get it over with, or just to "do it".  A sexy scene can be out of an exciting movie, your favorite book or your own imagination, for the bold couples record your sex scene and then play it back the next time you have make love (it may be very erotic).

Couples that are in long term monogamous relationships when going out for an evening can do something sexy like dancing, burlesque show, romantic sexy movie, or visiting a sex shop together. Make the evening more about teasing each other rather than just eating a meal or a drink.

Human sexuality is a gift that humans are supposed to enjoy. Enjoying that gift with a person that you love and having a great time with, will not only strengthen the bond of the relationship or marriage but it will relieve stress and tension in the mind, body, the soul.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael PhD ACS

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, PhD
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