This is not marriage therapy or psychotherapy but intimacy counseling, a type of counseling that works on the marriage from the inside out. Most problems, hurt feelings or misunderstandings happen because people lack the closeness of intimacy in the marriage. When the intimate connection is gone or one spouse constantly feels rejected, then the other areas of the marriage begins to crumble. As human beings we crave touch, love, and intimate connection!
We may not always understand the lack of intimacy in our relationship. Some people will understand it and ask for it but most people will not. It is the one part of communication that I have realized as an intimacy counselor is lacking in marriage and that is asking to be touched. Human touch can be more healing than any words can ever be expressed. Couples can talk about their problems until they are blue in the face and never resolve them. Expressing deep pain, hurt and rejection through touching and exchanging of energy and love can mend a broken heart quicker than any words can.
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When I work with my clients during intimacy counseling, I give them home assignments, and those assignments involve touching each other, kissing, hugging and connecting. Then we talk about the exercise at our next session, and so many times, simply having that connection once again with their partner will open doors to feelings that we once closed off.
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As the assignments progress so does the level of intimacy, making time to work on the relationship. Relationships that are in trouble need to be worked on. This type of counseling is solution based, healing the relationship from the inside out. As technology increases, touch and intimacy decreases. I believe as an intimacy counselor this may be the new wave of helping couples to re-connect once again on a more passionate level in a world where communication has come down to a text or email, instead of a kiss, hug or intimate sex!
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