How to open up and communicate with your spouse surrounding sex


How to open up and communicate with your spouse surrounding sex
Why is it so difficult then to communicate with a spouse about sex?

This article is a five part series this week, starting with the first article Marriage has become a sexual prison for many individuals

This article is on how to open the lines of communication surrounding sex in marriage. People get married; develop routines, ways of doing things. This can be the demise of many couple’s sex lives, routine, and boredom, the same positions, same place, and same time. Sex is about having fun with your spouse, enjoying each others bodies, releasing the hormones that come with orgasms. Sex is one of those powerful natural drugs that makes the mind and body feel good, creates closeness between the couple and can be the glue in a marriage.


Why is it so difficult then to communicate with a spouse about sex?

The answer is that people get embarrassed taking about sex, even with their spouse. Another reason is that they don’t want to hurt their spouse’s feelings if they don’t like the position or routine of sex. All of this adds up to lack of communication and nothing gets resolved around the issues of how to improve sex in the marriage.

When I see couples as a Sex and Marriage Counselor I like to help with some suggestions that break the ice for the couple helping them to open up. One of my favorite suggestions is to get a sexual board game, card game, even spin the bottle.

The couple can put some time aside and let the board game get the communication going….Truth or Dare is another fun game to play…the object is to say something that normally would not be said with the purpose of expanding on the conversation, making it easier to talk about sex.

Two other suggestions are reading erotic novels together and going to a sex shop.

Spending time reading erotic literature together can be very sexy.. Erotic novels are better than watching pornography (not to say that if you can’t both find great porn to watch together that cannot be fun too!) But books are more story driven then porn videos. A book can lead to more conversation, the book can be put down, and the couple can try out a scene. Erotic novels are great for women especially because there is a story line and this taps into a womens erotic part of her mind.

Experiencing a sex shop together can be a fun experience….it can also be a time of discovery with your partner, you may find out they really are tuned on by the anal toys, or handcuffs, but you won’t know until you try it!

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael PhD ACS

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, PhD
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