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How do I tell my wife that she is not pleasing me in bed?

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How do I tell my wife that she is not pleasing me in bed?
What should a man do who is not satisfied with sex in his marriage but still loves his wife?

A husband needs to talk to his wife.

This may seem like an obvious answer, but how does a man go about telling his wife that he is not satisfying sexually?

More from YourTango: Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

The reality of the situation is that many times she is not happy with the sex in the marriage either. The best way to go about talking about sex with your spouse is to not do outside the bedroom, when the two of you have some quite time alone. This way she is not put on the defensive and it is an open and positive discussion. You can even start off by asking her what she likes and what she may not like. Then the two of you can take turns going back and forth. If your wife is shy then ease her into the questioning and make it a few questions at a time within the week. Give her some time to think about it, if she needs it. When the two of you are ready then take it to the bedroom.  Taking about sex is what will eventually make the sex a positive experience for both of you.

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Continue to talk about sex while getting intimate with each other, asking if what you are doing feels good to her. Continue to take it slow and check in with each other and make sure that you are both comfortable with what is happening. This may take a few tries to get it right, but at least it will begin to open up the communication between you and your spouse regarding sex. A great way to break the ice is to buy a sexy game, like truth or dare, poker, there are many sex games available.  Take turns initiating it is not one person’s responsibility to always ask for sex.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael M.A.

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MC, Other
Other Articles/News by Dawn Michael:

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