As a counselor working with couples for years I have found over time that talking or rehashing problems in a marriage, rarely gets to the root of the problem. With most people they simply want to be loved, and many times showing that love through touch is much more effective than words. Healing a broken marriage through touch therapy can release past hurt that would never have been brought to the surface otherwise, so now it can be healed.
A way to start healing your marriage with loving touch is to wake up in the morning and hug, kiss, acknowledge the love, and give it freely. When going to bed at night do the same thing and hold each other. With some couples they can ease back into this in the marriage and for other couples they need to approach the touch slowly. The best way to initiate the healing touch in the marriage is to realize that the marriage is important, and make it a priority, not taking it for granted. Stating to touch again may feel uncomfortable but if given enough time, it will become more normal and more intimate.
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Schedule time throughout the busy week to spend alone time together, making each other feel important and loved again. A simple acknowledgement of your spouse each day can add the healing touch to your marriage. Take moment s in the day to give each other a kiss, hold hands, rub each other’s hair, faces, and back. This is not a sexual act but an intimate act, the touching does not lead to sex, but to make sex more intimate when the couples does have it.
When you are upset at your spouse and you want to tell them about it, change your words into a healing touch, open your arms and hug your spouse and look them in the eyes and tell them that you feel hurt by their action instead of yelling or blaming. Anger and hurt in a marriage almost always stems from lack of feeling loved or appreciated by the other person, so change the dynamic and heal your marriage through loving touch not hateful words.