A couple walked into my office in their late forties, both in great shape and seemed happily married. The husband sat down in the chair, leaned back and said to me, "Dawn, teach my wife and I how to have sex again. I think we have forgotten." We all started to laugh, because as funny as the statement was, there are many couples who feel the same way. This couple was happily married for 22 years, had three kids in their late teens who were ready to go off to college and the couple found themselves facing the empty nest syndrome.
They loved each other and wanted to divorce proof their marriage by learning how to spice up their sex life again. I explained to them how the intimacy counseling worked, and suggested what they needed to do to get the passion back into the marriage. I gave them home assignments to do each week, educated them on the human body as needed, gave information on some sexy products and then had them report back to me each week on their progress.
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As a Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Counselor this part of my practice, working with couples to improve their sex life, is always so inspiring. Each week I get to see the progress in the couple's relationship, the look of slight embarrassment at first, but after a few sessions, it becomes comfortable and fun. They get to learn more about each others bodies, erogenous zones, fantasies and grow together in their intimate connection. The best part is that it always spills over into the rest of the marriage. Where the little things seem to have disappeared, the couple seem to find them again and begin looking at each other differently. As the sessions continue the couples get more experimental, talkative, playful, and find that they want to learn more. They have now entered into the second half of their marriage with a renewed desire for each other that they once had when they first met.
As we age, our bodies change and so do our minds, so when couples can reconnect intimately once again, they often find out new things about each other they would never have had the opportunity to find. They also find out more about themselves as well while trying different positions, role playing, and playing with some fun adult toys. One of the best parts about the intimacy counseling is that couples learns to put their marriage first and make time for one another again. They go out on romantic dinners, make time to travel and most of all, connect again on a deeper more intimate level. Who would have thought that divorce proofing a marriage could be so much fun!
For Intimacy counseling call Dawn Michael (805) 732-7847 or visit The Happy Spouse
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