Loss of control in the bedroom can lead to a life time of anxiety concerning sexual performance...
When a man feels that he is not in control of his penis or ability to preform this can affect every aspect of his life, in severe cases it can lead to a life of celibacy.
For some men they will seek the opinion of a urologist to rule out any medical issues, but once the medical issues are ruled out a man is left with the same problem and no way to resolve it. Many times doctors will prescribe Viagra, which I call the bandaid solution.....
As a certified clinical sexologist, I help men with psychological issues surrounding sexual issues. This is a specialized field that many people do not realize exist. Certified clinical sexologists are trained to rule out medical issues related to sexual problems referring their patients to the medical doctors first for any health issues as well as prescriptive medication, drugs and alcohol, all of which can affect sexual performance. The problems then is directly related to psychological issues, that can encompass lack of sex education, societal and religious views, abuse issues, and patterns that may need to be adjusted.
Cycle Of Anxiety
There is a cycle of anxiety that a man may go through that needs to be broken so that he can begin to gain control over his performance issues. This cycle can start as early as the teen years and up until a man is in his 80's. As men age their level of testosterone drops along with this men go through different stages in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's and up. A man in their 20's is going to have a higher sex drive but he may also have less control over his performance, if at this age he does have per-mature ejaculation or erection problems and does not get past it, it can affect him for the rest of his life. Many times a few bad experiences with a women, can leave him feeling out of control and this begins the cycle of anxiety concerning it happening again. This can even happen one time and it can cause a problem, becasue many men do not understand that it is normal.
The amount of pressure that some men put on themselves to perform can be overwhelming and leave them with erection problems. In some men that have high anxiety to begin with this can be an even bigger issues, along with OCD and ADHD.
Learning through masturbation techniques how to control this from happening can eventually resolve the problem. Not being climax focused as a young man in his twenties can begin to correct this problem. As a men age, if he does not correct the problem it can become a bigger issue and affect his dating and intimate life with women.
If you are a man that is older with this issue, you can still retrain yourself but it does require more time and patience with help from a clinical sexologist. Part of the process in helping with erectile dysfunction is to use different techniques. One that Masters and Johnson coined as the holding technique, and stopping and starting. There are many other techniques that a clinical sexologist can teach as well as recommend produts to help with ED.
Fear Can Cause Sexual Problems
Fear of performance, can lead to lack of sexual performance. As men age, along with stress, life, relationships, marriage, children, a man may have times in his life where his desire is stronger or not as strong. There are also occasions when a man can just suddenly become flaccid or not get an erection at all.
What happens when a man becomes too anxious and the blood that is suppose to go to his penis now goes to other parts of the body, (know as fight or flight). Also known as "amygdala hijack" in which our emotional memory, lodged in the limbic center of our brain, rules our reactions without the benefit of logic or reason...which causes our bodies to go into a "fight or flight" response'. If a man can break the cycle of anxiety then he can eliminate the amygdala hijack.
Solutions For Erectile Dysfunction
There is help for erectile dysfunction, and most ED is psychological!
Some products that help men are pumps, followed by a rings to trap the blood for a limited time. There are also natural products that bring blood to that part of the body to engorge and enlarger. The last part of getting past erectile dysfunction is guided imagery, breathing through anxiety and techniques for self pleasure through masturbation and education on the life of the male penis!
For more information go to The Happy Spouse