Children caught in the middle of divorce, they are the victims

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Children caught in the middle of divorce, they are the victims
Tears rolled down my young daughters face as she drove off in her fathers car

I watched as my children left in their dad’s car this past time, my daughter not wanting to go, tears running down her face as her father told her to get in. The police were standing there because I had called them just after a CPS report was filed on how their father was being abusive towards them. My soon to be ex-husband pulled the court order papers out of his pocket and handed it over to the police officer after he had just spoken to my 9 year old little daughter and my 11 year old son. They both told the office that they did not want to be at their father’s house. I stood there watching their dad convince and bully the police officer with his court orders saying it is his custodial time, even though both children did not want to go. The police office came over to the children again and this time convinced them it was alright. My son went to the car with his head down looking at the ground. My daughter looked straight at me with tears willing up in her eyes.

I went towards my children to get them but he slammed the door in the car and the police officer stood in-between us. When he pulled away with the kids I turned to the office and told him that it was his job to protect those children, and how brave it was of them to talk with him. I told him now they have no faith in the law, or who to turn to for help. What do you do as a parent when you know that the other parent is mentally and physically being abusive to your children? There is very little a mother can do now a days or even a father, the law no longer protects the children but the lawyers, the police officers and the people making the decision on the welfare of your own children. As a mom you get stripped of all dignity as a parent, babies that once came from your body who you cared for everyday of their lives now suddenly having to spend countless days away from you. They are caught in the middle of the ulgy divorce they are the true victims of this ridicules system called family law. I have spent close to two years fighting to keep my children safe, but in the legal system if you have more money, more time, you win. You exhaust the other parent, the children have little to no say in the matter and they suffer the most. The court mediators don’t really want to spend the time and are over worked so it is much easier to just say 50/50, unless of course the children are so physically abused or neglected that it is already too late. The worst form of abuse is the mental anguish that the children have to endure, the pain of being pulled apart in two directions, used as weapons to hurt the other parent, pawns in a sick game.

I am writing this article for other parents who may be going through the same pain that I am going through and let them know that they are not alone, not going crazy and to keep fighting to protect their children even when the fight seems to be over.

How do we change this system to protect the children, this is what I want to know? Do you have a similar story?

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael PhD ACS

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, PhD
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