50% of all marriages fail and the couples that are still married about half are in unhappy marriages
What does it take to have a successful marriage today?
Marriage is not what it used to be where people stay in an unhappy marriage because of social pressure, finances, religion or children. More women work and do not stay at home and raise the children because it is very difficult to have a one income household in the present economy and many more women will continue to be equal bread winners with their husbands.
The fact is that women in general are becoming more of an equal partner in the marriage financially and want to split raising kids and house hold duties with a partner. The term partner in marriage is what marriage will look like in th future, but how do couples beat the odds and have a successful marriage today with all of the changes?
What is a successful marriage
The wave of the future is going to be more households where there is a split down the middle of earning potential and child rearing or trading off working and raising children.
In my experience as a sex therapist and relationship coach over the years, there have been a few good lessons that I have come to believe that make a marriage successful.
For people just getting married or that are thinking about marriage these steps are vital in maintaining a successful marriage.
Ten facts about having a successful marriage today and in the future
1. Both husband and wife have their own bank account and then a joint bank account. The day when one person was in charge of the money is over and this is a huge contributing factor to divorce, is one person controlling the finances, both people in a marriage should have their own money.
2. The couple does not take the marriage for granted. Once married couples still have to have to work on the marriage by: Dating, or keeping the marriage new, fresh and exciting. This is one of the reasons why some people will live together for years and not marry, so that the relationship will not be taken for granted.
3. Communication is a huge issue when it comes to marriage. Married couples think that because they have been together for a while they can start to read each others mind and not have to communicate. The truth is that couples stop reading each others body language because they now think that they know what their spouse is thinking and how well that they know them and don't need to ask questions anymore. Couples need to work at communicating with one another.
4. Don't Lose who you are in the marriage. Marriage is about two separate people coming together to share their lives with one another and when the two people become so enmeshed in each other and forget that they had a life before the marriage then the pressure of marriage will take over. Keeping social engagements with friends, hobbies and continuing to grow a separate life outside of the marriage, it keeps the marriage exciting, and gives the couple something to talk about and share with each other.
5. Giving each other enough space to miss one another. Domesticity is not about coming together and becoming one "that is the most over rated nonsense that ever was invented in a marriage", people need to have space to grow. The best marriages are the ones when the couple can miss each other or have space from one another giving enough time to miss one another.