The 13 year itch in marriage should I stay or should I go?


The 13 year itch in marriage should I stay or should I go?
More couples are getting divorced after the ten year mark in marriage, could you be next...

If you made it past the 7 year itch or even the 10 year itch, more couples are contemplating divorce around the 13 to 15 year mark in marriage, and by that time, it is usually not just an itch anymore.


Some of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high for people around the 13-15 year mark in marriage.


1.  The couple may have wanted to separate earlier, but because the kids were small they stuck it out.  Now that the kids are a little older and reaching middle school they are questioning if they can continue in the marriage.


2.  Their intimate life and sex life have become almost non-existent and they are wondering if they can continue in this type of a marriage any longer, especially since they themselves are getting older.

3.  Women predominantly are more apt to ask for a divorce at this stage of the marriage, because they may have felt that they tried to make the marriage work in the past and now they have finally given up.

4.  The marriage expired years ago and hanging on now because of the kids is just not enough anymore.


5.  People change after ten years together and many times it takes the extra two or three years after to realize that the marriage has grown apart and just cant be spared.

If any of these reasons listed above are one's that you have personally experience then it may be time to go or get some intimacy counseling.  

As a couples counselor my professional advice is to always expire all possibility before divorce, to make sure that it is really over.  For most couples if they have gone through the five reasons above then it may be time to move on.  Going through a separation and then a divorce can be a very difficult time, but if the couple can remain open minded through the process and work together for the sake of the children then it makes the complicated and may times painful situation better.

For advice on should I stay in the marriage or should I go contact Dawn Michael.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael PhD ACS

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, PhD
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