Have you ever told people, "Relationships aren't for me. I'm taking a break from all that"?
What made you say those things? Did you genuinely want time alone, or did a past experience make you feel that way?
In all my years of coaching, I've found the main reason women count themselves out the dating arena is because of something that's happened to them in their past. Someone's hurt you and you're scared to open up again. You don't want to become vulnerable again, because you can't stand the thought of having your heart smashed one more time.
I know this might seem hard, but I truly believe you should always be open to dating. Or to put it another way, you should always be open to meeting new people. If you've just come out of a bad relationship, I understand if you don't want to hop into bed with a brand new guy, but don't let it stop you meeting new men. Why shouldn't you make friends and have fun?
No matter what happens in your dating life, I want you to commit to always being ready to meet people. I want you to offer yourself to possibility every day. I want you to open up whenever you're out there, because you just don't know when you're going to bump into Mr. Right.
The thing is, when you say to yourself, "I'm not dating at the moment. I have no interest in men. If George Clooney walked through the door, I'd tell him to walk right back out again," what you're doing is shutting down emotionally. You're closing down because of past bad experiences or heartbreaks. Do you know what happens when you close down like this?
You shut yourself off, emotionally. You stop feeling. When that happens, you've allowed your past to control your future. You've changed who you are. If you let the past control you, there's no way your future will turn out any different. When you close off you don't communicate openly.
You could meet the nicest man in the world, but you'd still block him off. But for all you know he could have been your perfect man. He could have been the man you're meant to ride off into the sunset with! So what's the takeaway from all this?
Forget the past. Forget bad experiences. And forget the all the men who let you down in the past. Don't stop opening up, and don't stop meeting people. Fine, if you don't want to look for men to date, no problem; but don't shut the world out.
You're strong, beautiful and special. You deserve to let the world see who you are. And don't forget, you never know who you're going to run into!
More dating coach advice from YourTango: