An expert makes his case for holding off on your 'I dos.'
I've recently emailed all the women I've dated in my 20s—all 700 of them—I sent them an email that said:
"Thanks for the experience. You were great. I was a self-centered asshole. You met me during my player years and, yes, you were just a notch on the belt. But now that those years are over [my real age you readers will never find out!], I've matured into a really good man. Let me know if you'd like to reconnect as a friend or on a deeper level."
Now this isn't some Neil Young or Bruce Springsteen song, nor did I really write this email. And I really don't think I dated 700 women. (I might have, but who knows, and who remembers?) The important thing is to embrace what you did and grow from the experiences you had.
But here's the bottom line: To make a marriage successful, you have to know who you are first. None of this Jerry Maguire 'you complete me' stuff. Enjoy your 20s. If you're in your 20s right now, enjoy dating but enjoy the time getting to know yourself more. Also, don't rush a family and the condominium on wheels (for those of you who don't know what that is, that's the overly obnoxious SUV. Yes, I live in California and yes I hate Hummers ... though I do enjoy an occasional hummer).
So, take the time to get to know yourself before you get in that minivan. Because to have true love, you have to find true love with yourself first. For those of you over thirty who are in a marriage, you know exactly what I'm talking about here.
Just one last thing: I'm all about the biological clock, but can you at least wait until your late 20s to pound out the puppies and get married? Give yourself a few years to get to know who you are as a person. You'll make a better lover, because I've got to tell you that there is nothing more fun in bed than a woman over the age of 30. I tell all my friends that they can have all the women in their 20s. I'm all about the hot sexy cougars.
This article was originally published at David Wygant for Women . Reprinted with permission from the author.