"Why Isn't He Getting Hard?"

By

"Why Isn't He Getting Hard?"
Have you ever been going down on a guy and he isn't getting hard? Here's what's really going on.

I was chatting to a client the other day. Suddenly his faced turned serious and he asked me, “David, sometimes when a woman goes down on me I can’t get hard. Has it ever happened to you? What’s going on with me?”

I laughed and said, “Yep, it’s happened to me a lot of times.”

I asked him what women have said when it’s happened to him.

“Well, there was this one woman.” He said. “She really got into my head. She asked me if I was gay! She wanted to know what was wrong, and why I wasn’t getting turned on.”

Ladies, have you ever had a guy go down on YOU, and you just can’t cum?

See, it happens to both men and women.

You’ll be lying there, and your man will be doing his very best to make you climax and you’re thinking…

“Why is this taking so long? I’m so turned on, why can’t I cum tonight? Maybe if he moved to the left or right?”

I know if a woman goes down on me before I’m ready for her, I struggle to get hard sometimes. I really have to concentrate. I think to myself, “Get hard, get hard, please get hard.” And when it happens, you don’t relax. If you’re not relaxed, you’re not going to be aroused.

So why does it happen?

For me it’s because oral sex is one of the purest forms of intimacy there is. Think about it. Someone is burying their head in your groin. You wonder, “Do I smell good? Am I clean? Am I going to be able to cum?”

There’s a million things shooting through your mind at this point. So how do we get past all this “Oral fixation anxiety?”

The answer is communication. Tell your partner what you desire. Tell your man how you like it. Direct the speed of his tongue. Tell him how you want it to move. Maybe you like to have two fingers hooked inside you caressing your G-spot. Whatever it is you like; tell him! Let him know what you want, and you’ll be able to relax more.

So communication is the key to all this. If you’re with a guy who seems to be suffering from “oral fixation anxiety” talk to him. Ask him what he likes. Ask if he wants it faster. Does he want you to use your hand? Does he like his balls touched?

If you’re communicating with him, he’ll start to relax and you’ll both enjoy the experience much more. It’s just more proof that communication really is the key to successful relationships.

Don’t assume you don’t turn on your man if he isn’t getting hard. It could just be a touch of anxiety. Remember, guys are emotional creatures too. Contrary to what you think, we can’t perform on command just the same as women can’t.

So be patient, don’t take it personally, and talk talk talk!

To find out more, and to discover 3 secrets men WISH you knew about them CLICK HERE and watch my free video.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David Wygant

Dating Coach

Are you ready to finally find love?

David

www.davidwygant.com

Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by David Wygant:

10 Crazy Signs You're Falling In Love

By

I want us to forget about all our dating "issues" for one moment today. I want us to forget about the man who broke your heart two years ago, or the guy who took you on the most romantic date ever and then never called you again.I want us to forget about all the pressure, worry and frustration we normally feel about dating, and focus on one simple ... Read more

Girl, Stop Chasing That Guy. He Doesn't Want To Be Your Boyfriend

By

Today, I want to deal with a subject that really bothers me. Tens of thousands of people around the world suffer from "social disease." You may even be suffering with this affliction yourself right now. I'm going to explain what this "affliction" is and show you how to beat it if you're one of the many sufferers worldwide. What ... Read more

What Real Love Means To Me

By

There's nothing better than just spending time on the beach and relaxing. I live in L.A and we have tons of beaches there, but nothing is better than getting out the city for a while. There's nothing like taking the time to connect with friends and loved ones, instead of stressing over some date that went wrong or a guy who didn't call you ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.