THIS Is The Biggest Online Dating Mistake You're Making

online dating mistakes
Love, Self

It's time to stop letting your fingers do all the talking.

Here's a tip for all you online daters, you Tinderers, you OKCupid people and you Plenty of Fishers. Just because you get an email, text or whatever from that hot guy doesn't mean you're ever going to meet him in person.

You have his attention — congratulations.

He's answered something that fell in his inbox or texted you back via Tinder. Now the clock is ticking. You need to get on a phone call as fast as possible. What, you think you're the only one in his inbox? You think you're the only two sitting there who both swiped right?

If you get a phone call immediately, the emotional connection starts. If you're going to keep texting one another, no matter how great and clever you are, you will form no emotional connection. Somebody else will, and you'll be discarded. Buried in the deleted box. Buried somewhere down the line of the other 50 Tinderites that he is looking at.

The idea is to take 90 minutes out of your life and meet somebody.

So what's the point of all this swiping, texting and emailing if you're not going to meet? It's just noise. Are you looking for another text romance? Oh, those are great. Maybe you'll have a Skype romance where you actually can look at one another and have Skype sex. All that sounds lonely and boring.

It's 2015 — brand new year, brand new mindset. You've got somebody interesting on the hook via Tinder, Hinge, Match, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, etc. Grab them instantly. That's right, instantly. Meet up as quickly as possible. Why are you even dating if you don't have the time?

You need to set aside a certain amount of time per week to meet up with people. I'm talking maybe three or four hours a week. That could be four, one hour quick dates. In one hour, you can get to know somebody and see if there's any type of emotional connection.

You need to see somebody face to face. No matter how great a phone call they give, no matter how great at texting they are, and no matter how quick and clever their online flirting is, we never really know if they're great until we meet.

So instead of spending all your time swooping, swiping and looking at pictures, set aside a certain amount of time per week. Maybe it's Saturday afternoon. Maybe it's Sunday afternoon. Whenever. Set aside time to date because you never know what's going to happen.

I want you to take a look at your Tinder inbox and all the other inboxes that you have — all the people who you did not meet in 2014. Now think about it.

You had some flirtatious banter going back and forth. Some of the people were actually interesting, but you didn't meet any of them. Go back into your inbox and take a look.

Let's say for instance, there are 25 people there that you just flirted with but didn't meet. The law of averages will tell you this; one of them probably would have been a connection and a damn good one, but you didn't find out because you didn't make the time.

So if you're going to date in 2015 and you desire love, a relationship or whatever it might be, then I suggest you make the time. That's right, schedule date time. Schedule a time to call people back.

Make it easy. If you're texting back and forth and somebody asks if you're ready to talk now, take 10 minutes and actually call them. Nobody is that busy. If you truly desire meeting somebody, you need to get rid of all the blocks. You need to realize there are a lot of great people out there. You're probably meeting them as you swipe, or as you OkCupid them.

So once again, set aside time each week to actually go and meet people, and don't just let your fingers do the talking.


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