The Label Game - Playing It Cool When You're Not Exclusive

By

The Label Game - Playing It Cool When You're Not Exclusive
Are you playing it cool even though you want more from a relationship? Here's why you must stop now!

Have you been playing “the label game?”

You've met somebody. You're playing it super cool. You're not exclusive… yet. But you’re more than just a date. You don't use the L word. The L word is absolutely forbidden in this relationship right now.

 

You're cool when he doesn't call, even though you’re a little upset deep down. When you see him you're excited, but you don't want to act too excited. You're playing it cool and so is he.

You know how many people play the label game and play it cool when they actually feel more about their partner? They call it the “more than dating but not exclusive stage.” People do it all the time and it drives me nuts!

It seems like every day on my blog the same question crops up. “David, I’m dating someone right now. I really like him and it’s going well. The trouble is I don’t know what to say to him, or how to play it. I don’t want to freak him out or rock the boat. We’re both playing it so cool.”

Let me ask you a few questions right now…

How's playing it cool REALLY suiting you?

Is this the authentic version of who you are?

Is it how you want a relationship?

I remember one woman who contacted me a while ago. She’d played it cool with a guy for three years straight because she didn’t want to come on too strong. In the end he didn’t think she cared about him and left her. Not only that, but she later found out he’d married someone else.

They saw each other regularly. They were lovers. The guy even took her on holiday. But just because he didn’t say the L word she decided to play it cool. In her mind if she played it cool it would make him want and desire her. Look how it ended up for her!

I don't believe in playing it cool. I believe every relationship has a definition to it. Every relationship has energy about it. The cooler you are with him, the cooler he’ll be with you. Men like and respect women who define what they want. 

I like it when a woman sits me down after dating for a month and says, “Hey, I like you. I'd like this to be a relationship. I enjoy being with you. I don't want to date anybody else.” I respect someone who speaks authentically, and is open about what they want.

Why be something you're not? If you’re an authentic, powerful, strong, sexy woman, you shouldn’t play it cool if you want more. There are guys that will take advantage of it. Some guys won’t be as emotionally evolved as you. When they see you playing it cool they’ll assume you’re not serious and will go play around. How are you going to feel then?

What about if you’re already in a “relationship” but you’re playing it cool?

Then it’s time to sit down and have a heart to heart with the guy. Tell him you’d like a little bit more and see what he says. You don’t have to use the L word, but at least let him know you’d like to become exclusive.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David Wygant

Dating Coach

Are you ready to finally find love?

David

www.davidwygant.com

Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by David Wygant:

Are You a Micro-Manager?

By

If you desire an amazing relationship with a man… If you want to bring out his alpha-male, you want to bring out the king in him… You need to stop micro managing him. A lot of women do it without realizing it. You do it because you care, but you don't understand how it triggers a man's mind. It can be something as simple as, ... Read more

I Cheated, But The Reasons Why Could Lead To YOUR Happiness

By

There are plenty of reasons men have affairs, I know ... because I've been there. Sometimes we cheat for emotional reasons, and other times it's purely sexual. Often it's other issues, like after starting a family, men sometimes stop seeing their partner as their sexual fantasy because now she's the mother of their kids. Yes, I've ... Read more

Help! I Have No Clue How To Talk To Men

By

I had a great email from Norma the other day. Thank you Norma for admitting something I'm sure a lot of women are having issues with. It's a huge issue in so many relationships. Norma writes: "Hi David, My name is Norma. I'm a 38 year old woman from California. I know my biggest dating relationship problem is that I don't ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular