I've met a lot of these guys. They talk such a good game, but in reality, they're living a compromised life. They wanted something from life but never truly believed that they could have everything. And now they find themselves "stuck" in a situation that's displeasing and less than what they know is possible.
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Beware. Never, ever get influenced by their flattery. They're not going to leave their wives. They're looking for an affair, whether it is mental, emotional, physical or all three. Be aware eware of these warning signs.
Ask yourself what it is that you want, and why you're drawn to these men that you can't have. Maybe there is a tiny bit of loneliness and lack of fulfillment within you, and that is attracting men in similar situations, many of them married.
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Look at the people who are coming into your life as signposts for what's going on inside of you. If you find yourself becoming excited by the overly-friendly man in the wedding ring -- consider that you may have some internal issues to work out.
And then run... preferably in the direction of available men not hampered down by preexisting relationships.