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The real way to get a man to fall in love.
By David Wygant — Last updated on Dec 01, 2023
This is a question women ask me all the time: “What makes men fall in love and commit to relationships?”
When a woman wants to know how to get a boyfriend who'll make a true commitment and, hopefully, even talk about marriage, I always give this analogy in response.
Imagine that a woman’s idea of the perfect night is to come home, unwind, and tell her guy about her day while he shakes his head, listens, and says something like, “Yes, honey, I understand totally,” without doing his "man thing" and trying to fix anything for her.
Maybe he’ll play with her hair a little bit, maybe hold her a little bit, and she's perfectly content, feeling loved, nurtured, and understood.
In contrast, imagine that a man’s idea of the perfect night goes more like this:
He comes home and smells steak, cooking to perfection. As the woman he loves comes to greet him from the other room dressed in lingerie, he asks, “Honey, what's all of this?”
She responds, “That’s a prime rib that I’m cooking for you. Would like it now or later?”
Most of the women I've shared this with stop in their tracks right there. Are all guys really just primitive cavemen?
The answer to that is yes and no.
Yes, we like to be nurtured the way we were by our moms, but we love a woman who's willing to be naughty with us.
If you really want to know how to get a like to you in a major way, you need to focus on how to make a man fall in love with you — and want you.
We need you to honor and respect us.
Speak to us like grown men, rather than like little boys (even if we may be acting like one in the moment).
We want to be nurtured, and we want to be honored.
We want to know that you appreciate the skills we have, and we don’t want to hear about what we can’t do what we don't do right, or what you’d like to change about us.
And yes, men commit to women who are willing to go the extra mile.
Of course, every man is different.
Some men love being intimate daily, while other men like being intimate no more than once a week.
If you’re willing to go there, explore those fantasies with him, and have a great time doing it, then that is a man who is going to stick around.
Find out who your man truly is and what he wants most, and you’ll know exactly how to get him to make a commitment, fall happily in love, and stay there.
In reality, we’re all looking for a partner who is also our best friend — somebody who won't give us a hard time all the time.
We want to be your rock; we want to be strong for you.
We don’t want to be chiseled or broken down, which is, unfortunately, something many women have a tendency to do. They find a man and date him for his potential, then try to mold him into the guy they really wanted all along. By the end of that relationship, he’s broken.
If you want a man to make a commitment and talk about marriage, start by dating a man you actually want to be with, as he is.
We want to be loved for who we are and we want to be accepted for who we are — just like you.
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David Wygant is a dating coach who spent the past 20 years helping men and women transform their love lives. As a lead writer for Ask Men and Huffington Post, his advice has been offered across television, newspapers, and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, E! Entertainment Television, and more.