For example, women who use online dating sites but aren't actively looking for a soul mate are online with an open energy. They're not angry with the idiots who come to their profile every day and write them nasty or dumb emails. They're online dating because they MIGHT stumble across the one. They're not putting themselves under pressure and they're not giving off the desperate vibe. They know they have to go through the duds in order to find somebody great. They're okay, cultivating, and dating, and farming, and fishing for their soul mate.
If you want to know how to find your soul mate you need to accept this first: the work starts within you. You need to practice self-love and then you need to put it out there. Go to events, go to dinners, get invited to things, you need to inquire, you need to smile, you need to be inquisitive, and you need to flirt. If you really want your soul mate to find you, you've got to be proactive, not reactive.
And just remember, love yourself and don't put yourself on a time limit. When your soul mate is ready you'll find each other.