How do you get rid of the creepy guy that you’re not interested in?
You know, the guy that just makes you feel icky when you first meet him, but yet, for some reason or another, you gave your phone number to him hoping he would never call.
But of course, he called—13 or 14 times.
Kind of like what happened to Lisa:
I met a guy the other day.
He was so cool…but I really didn’t feel anything for him. But for some reason I still gave him my phone number
Last night we got into a conversation on the phone and I realized I just wanted to be his friend.
Yet I still went out to coffee with him and a second date with him even though I just knew that I never really wanted to be with him in the first place.
David, I have so much trouble telling guys the truth. How come? I don’t want to hurt them. How do I tell them how I feel without hurting their feelings?
Lisa, here’s the deal:
You don’t want to hurt them, but you just led him on…which may lead to more hurt in the future.
You see, as men, we get very excited. A lot of men get really excited when they get a phone number because they don’t get a lot of phone numbers from women.
They might get one phone number a month—if they’re lucky.
So when that guy got your phone number, he got high expectations with that phone number. He wanted that phone number to work out. He might have wanted you to be his girlfriend.
So, you got on the phone with him. You talked to him. You had a couple of dates with him. He was excited. He was starting to think about the future with you.
The problem is, you led him on because you were thinking that it would hurt him less—which is false.
Here’s the deal: Say “no” right away when a man asks you.
Let him deal with the instant feeling of rejection. He doesn’t know you. You’re just a vision, a fantasy in his mind. When you tell him “no” right away, then you free him to move on to the next fantasy.
When you lead a guy on, you don’t hurt him immediately but you hurt him long-term.
When you hurt him that way, it goes deeper—you do more damage. Instead of wasting time with you he could be meeting somebody who really wants to be with him.
So the next time a man asks you for a phone number, just say no.
This article was originally published at David Wygant for Women . Reprinted with permission from the author.