How many times have you heard "the key to life is loving yourself?"
How many self-help books have you read that talk about cultivating your best self, and how inner peace will be the missing piece of your relationship puzzle? How many failed relationships are you going go through until you finally believe self-love is the key to everything?
More from YourTango: 6 Can't-Deny-'Em Signs He Loves You
Until you cultivate your best self so you have inner peace, you're never going to find the love you so deserve and desire. I truly believe, (and I talk about this personal development coaching all the time through the David Wygant method of self-love) that in order to be happy, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and actually say to yourself, "I love you."
How many of you can go to the mirror right now and say the words, "I'm in love with you" to yourself?
How many of you can talk dirty to yourself or tell yourself you're the most beautiful person you've ever met? How many of you can turn yourself on emotionally, physically, and mentally, just by telling yourself you love yourself?
It's a tougher exercise than you think, and I dare you right now to go and do it. Bookmark this article, put your computer down, put the iPad down and go to the mirror. Tell yourself that you love yourself; that you're turned on to be you; that you're the most amazing person in the world. How does it make you feel?
I remember when I first did this exercise. A friend of mine told me to do it. He told me the same thing I told you. He said "in order to have inner peace and great relationships, you must cultivate and love yourself."
The first time I did this I stood right in front of the mirror with my phone on speaker. He made me do it "in front of him."
It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I stood there and I looked at myself. To be honest with you as much as I thought I loved myself, I didn't really believe it at all. As a matter of fact, I knew I didn't love myself fully. And you know what I learned? Until I was able to love myself fully, I wasn't able to have amazing relationships.
Loving yourself is a process. Accepting your faults, accepting who you are, working on things day by day, embracing small little wins, realizing you're human and you screw up. Those are things that are tough for people because we've learned, we're destined and we're programmed, to be so hard on ourselves — especially after a failed relationship. You need to take responsibility for anything wrong in that relationship and embrace every single lesson.
But you also need to forgive yourself. You need to love yourself and you need to become the best version of yourself you can be. If you do that, you'll start attracting a whole different person. (Maybe even somebody who is also reading this article.) Imagine your soulmate sitting at a computer in another cubicle, 100, 200, 300 miles away reading the same article, doing the same exercises as you, living life day-to-day embracing small wins, accepting themselves for who they are and embracing those small wins every single day.
I talk about this in my blog all the time at www.davidwygant.com and all of my programs have a component about self-love attached to it. I do that because I've always believed since my first encounter with the mirror that in order to find love I need to be somebody that practices love with myself every single day. I show you how you can start that process today and how to eliminate every fear and excuse stopping you enjoying dating success.
More from YourTango: 5 Ways To Drive A Man Wild In Bed
More personal development coach advice from YourTango: