Beware of the far away prince who contacts you because you're "cute" or "the one". Why? Because...
Funny story I want to relate to all of you pond fishers, especially the women that create a long-distance relationship story based on the lover who lives in another country.
A friend of mine was online. She was being seduced ever so coyly by two different men. Both of them lived in a totally different time zone, both of them lived a long plane ride away and both of them made promises about coming to visit.
These guys were good. They wrote great e-mails. They were wonderful on Skype...but they were far away men. Sounds like a Disney princess fairytale: the young woman trapped in her castle. Oops, sounds almost like Rapunzel! Being banished for years and years and years. Sounds like Cinderella! Frustrated, living under the sea. Not being able to go and meet the beautiful prince that she saw one night on a boat. Sounds like Ariel.
But it seems like a lot of women fall for the debonair man who lives far, far away, the man who makes promises of coming to see her.
He's going to be in town on business. He's going to fly there. They're going to go out. They're going to fall in love.
The problem is the man is usually married.
If you think about it, why else would he be fishing 10,000 miles away unless he's going to be in that area within a week or two or three and it really was organic and authentic? Most of the time, these guys are just fishing from a distance. It's the safest thing they can do because then their wives won't catch on.
Or even better still, the men are socially challenged and no woman in their area like them.
Think of my friend who was corresponding with one of the guys, and was online one night, checking out her profile.
She got a nasty e-mail from the prince from far away.
The prince said to her:
"I can't believe you're online."
He was angry. The prince was throwing daggers from far, far away.
He was pissed. He couldn't believe that she was 'looking.'
Did he honestly, realistically think she would wait until he saw her in the future—IF he ever saw her in the future? She was just innocently checking e-mails. But the funny thing is, he was online too. What was he doing on there? That's what was so funny!
People always get so angry if they're online dating and they see the other person is online. But how can they it if they didn't go online themselves too? Probably to check on their own flirtatious banter with any number of people, going on in different places.
Beware of the man or the far away prince who contacts you because you're a gift. Fish in your own pond.
Your pond has plenty of opportunity. It's flattering to have a successful, good looking man from afar court you. But in reality, when Mr. Prince lives in New Zealand or Australia, and you live in the United States, what are the realistic chances? And that's what it comes down to. Well, that comes down to the 'princess fantasy' so many of you are still believing in.
See, dating can be frustrating, especially when you hit a certain age. You've already met the guys, you've already been through a divorce. Your ex-husband is an ass.
And you still, really want to feel like that princess. But it doesn't take more than a few interesting, powerful words to get your attention, because deep down, who doesn't still want to have that princess fairy tale come true?
But in reality, your prince doesn't live 10,000 miles away. The chances of that prince and princess relationship developing is slim to none, and you know it. But it's a diversion. A diversion that's preventing you from going out and actually meeting people, being more open, being more receptive. Maybe e-mailing a few local guys online. Even putting yourself up on, God forbid, Tinder.
My advice? Ignore the men from afar, and focus on the ones near. Because even 100 miles away, is sometimes very unrealistic. Even in Los Angeles, where I live, someone four miles away can be unrealistic with that traffic!
So if you're looking for your prince, look for him under the sea, if you live on the beach. Look for him near your castle, if you live in the country.
And look for him in his own cubicle, in the same city you live in.
And if you MUST make a long distance relationship work, then this is a must read!