Time for a pep talk!
The ugly tree is a horrible concept, isn't it?
But the truth is, so many women I speak to use it to describe themselves. In fact, in an email I received this morning, one of my readers described herself as having, "fallen from the ugly tree, and hitting every branch on the way down."
Do you hate the way you look? Do you glance in the mirror and secretly despise the reflection staring back at you? Do you believe you're not in a loving relationship because you're not as "pretty" as other women?
The number of women I hear from who have terrible self-image problems really worries me. Some people don't just see themselves as "plain" or "ordinary looking." Some women see themselves as hideously ugly. Why? Because maybe they're carrying a few extra pounds in weight, or because their breasts are "too small" or "too big", or they always seem to have a bad hair day.
Insecurity is a real thing, and not one we should dismiss. But here is the fact of the matter:
It doesn't matter whether you're tall, short, skinny, overweight, whether your teeth are crooked or you hate your freckles. You;re a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!
The media plays a big part in why women feel so badly about themselves. They've taken the whole concept of sex "selling" and run with it on a huge scale. The only problem is they assume all men want to sleep with 6-foot tall blonde swimwear models. Then lady mags jumped on the same bandwagon, assuming all women aspire to that ideal, and now fill their pages with images of said blonde bombshell.
It's unrealistic, and it's unfair. And as a man who loves women, it makes me really angry.
When you see a man checking you out (and don't say they never do ... because I won't believe you!), that's exactly what they're telling you. They're telling you you're attractive exactly the way you are. Let me share something about the male mindset. We don't see a woman and think, "She'd be so attractive if only her legs were longer and she had a nose job."
That's not how men think. If we see a woman we find attractive we think, "She's hot!" It really is as simple as that. And we love everything about women and the way they look. Perfection just isn't the point.
Women even email me to say the reason they're single is because men won't date them because of how they look. When I ask if a man has ever said that to them directly, guess what they say? You guessed it: No. They just assume that's why they're single. Some actually send me photos to get my opinion, and you know what? These women are gorgeous. It's not how you look that's the problem; it's how you FEEL that's keeping you single.
I always teach the importance of self-love, and it really is something you should practice. You need to learn to see yourself the way others see you, rather than how you THINK they see you. You have to accept the way you look, embrace who you are, and realize men are attracted to you however you look. Even if you were a 7 foot, 400-pound woman with a full beard, there's a group of men out there who would give their right arm to date you. That's for real.
In the video below I talk about the dangers of a negative self-image, and reveal a simple exercise which could change the way you look at yourself forever. Make sure you take the time to do this exercise because it's very effective. And share it with any of your friends who could do with reading this!
Enjoy the video, and have a great day BEAUTIFUL!
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