Are you dating a guy who’s not as into foreplay as you’d like him to be?
Recently I was talking to a friend of mine. She was with a guy she really liked, and he was good to her too. “But here’s the thing David.” She said. “He never goes down on me. I just don’t understand it. We’ve been together nearly two years and I really love him, but I’d love him to give me some great oral sex sometimes. How can I get him to give me foreplay?”
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Here was my advice…
“Make him your ex-boyfriend. Don’t beg him for foreplay. You need to find yourself a guy who can’t wait to go down on you. You need a man who desperately wants to ravish your body whenever you’re together.”
As a woman you deserve everything you want from a relationship, both emotionally AND sexually. You deserve to be ravished. Do you go down on your boyfriend? Do you make him feel amazing? Because here’s the deal ladies…
You deserve to feel amazing in return. You deserve to be ravished by your lover, and not just used.
If you’re in a relationship and your man isn’t giving you the foreplay you crave, you need to think really carefully about your needs, wants, and desires. Can you live without the ravishing? Think about the rest of the relationship. Do you love the guy enough to cope without the foreplay?
You need to make a stand sexually from the beginning of the relationship. I know women who haven’t taken that stand, and end up in these long sexless relationships, where they’re just hanging out with Mr. One Pump Chump. You know, the guy who’s only interested in himself?
He jumps straight on you, gives you no foreplay, and a few minutes later he rolls off like a drunk falling off a park bench.
Do you want to end up one of these lonely women who wait for your boyfriend to go out so you can use your vibrator? Do you want to rely on a lump of plastic to have multiple orgasms, wishing it was your man ravishing you with their mouths?
Sex to me is hunger. Sex to me is passion. I could never be with somebody that didn't want to ravish my body like I wanted to ravish theirs. I'm about equality in relationships, especially when it comes to sex. You should be getting regular foreplay whether you’ve been with someone two months or two years!
Here's what you need to do. If you're not in a relationship yet decide what you want sexually. Write it down. Literally write it down like it's your own 50 Shades of Grey novel.
Decide exactly how often you want oral sex, how many times a week you want to use toys with your lover, and how long you want him to use his fingers before he takes you. Do you like being licked? Do you want a man to touch you erotically? What is erotic to you? What is great oral sex to you? What is great sex to you?
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You need to be very definitive on what you want because we only live once, and you deserve to have a sex life that drives you wild. There's no reason for you to compromise on these issues.
I want everybody to have great sex. If you want to be ravished, eaten, taken care of, touched, have orgasms every single night, then write it down. And if you're with a guy that doesn't do it, let him go before you get attached. I call this basically oral sex insurance. Learn it, use it, and you will be fine.