7 Reasons To Stop Tormenting Your Ex

By

7 Reasons To Stop Tormenting Your Ex
An open letter you all you space invaders.

This is great entertainment and is very fun to watch in your local movie theater ... but is not a good model to follow in real life. Think about what this typical movie plot line involves, and what you have to assume to make it the great romantic story that is shown. First, notice that each and every one of these films rests on the major premise that the space invading ex is the right man for the girl and that the girl's current guy is (unbeknownst to the girl) not such a great guy. As we've discussed, and as all of you space invading ex's know to be the case with your ex, that is not what is going on in your situation. Your ex is in a relationship with someone who is making them truly happy. You are not Patrick Dempsey or Hugh Grant (or Julia Roberts for you female space invading ex's), so you need to stop trying to play the lead in this kind of movie plot with your ex!

Another flaw in these movie plots is that they paint the space invading ex as the "hero" doing his ex a favor by exposing the rotten current boyfriend and having the girl find true happiness when the space invading ex declares his undying love to her. Think about what you are really

doing, though, by being the space invading ex. When you are invading your ex's space in a relationship where your ex is genuinely happy, your invasion into that space is not romantic - it is selfish. Really, that's what it is in its true sense. Think about it. When you invade your ex's space, you are bringing stress not only to your ex but to their relationship. Stated simply, you are bringing unhappiness into your ex's happy space. The only person who is served by this space invasion is YOU.

5. Think How You Would Feel: Another person you need to consider if you are a space invading ex is your ex's current significant other. You need to put yourself in that person's shoes. Consider how you would feel if you were in a relationship with someone and that person's ex continued to invade your relationship space. How do you think it feels to know that your significant other has been on the phone throughout the day with their ex. Let me tell you how it feels. When someone is invading your relationship space, it makes you feel disconnected with your significant other. You can feel it happening.

Then when you get emails from your significant other telling you how emotionally drained they feel because their ex keeps calling, it causes you to feel emotionally drained yourself. You become emotionally drained because you start wondering what your significant other's ex said, and what your significant other thinks and feels about what the ex said.

After connecting with your significant other at an emotional and spiritual level deeper than you have with anyone else, to be in the dark about what was said by an ex is a terrible feeling. You want to be there for them and to help them through this, but you also don't want to be in the dark yourself. This space invasion likewise causes your ex's energy to be directed totally away from their currently happy relationship.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David Wygant

Dating Coach

Are you ready to finally find love?

David

www.davidwygant.com

Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by David Wygant:

Why You Can't Let One Heartbreak Destroy You

By

Life is a series of events. I want you to look at that statement, and then I want you to read it again. Life is a series of events. In fact, I want you to read it one more time. Life is a series of events. Read it, and say it aloud to yourself six times. Now that that's lodged firmly in your head, I want to ask you a question. Why does one event traumatize ... Read more

The 5 REAL Reasons Men Are Scared Of Marriage

By

I've been around the dating industry for 20-odd years now, and I've heard every reason under the sun for why men are scared of marriage. You've probably heard most of them yourself. "Men don’t want to commit because they're not built to stay with one woman. Men won't marry because they would rather spend their lives running round ... Read more

The Deadly Dangers Of Infatuation

By

I had a strange dream this morning. You know when you start having a dream, but you're half-awake. Every time you go back to the sleep, the same dream comes up like some weird series on television. That's what was happening to me this morning. I dreamt I was at my ex's house. I was chasing her all around the living room. I was infatuated and ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB