7 Reasons To Stop Tormenting Your Ex

By

7 Reasons To Stop Tormenting Your Ex
An open letter you all you space invaders.

This is great entertainment and is very fun to watch in your local movie theater ... but is not a good model to follow in real life. Think about what this typical movie plot line involves, and what you have to assume to make it the great romantic story that is shown. First, notice that each and every one of these films rests on the major premise that the space invading ex is the right man for the girl and that the girl's current guy is (unbeknownst to the girl) not such a great guy. As we've discussed, and as all of you space invading ex's know to be the case with your ex, that is not what is going on in your situation. Your ex is in a relationship with someone who is making them truly happy. You are not Patrick Dempsey or Hugh Grant (or Julia Roberts for you female space invading ex's), so you need to stop trying to play the lead in this kind of movie plot with your ex!

Another flaw in these movie plots is that they paint the space invading ex as the "hero" doing his ex a favor by exposing the rotten current boyfriend and having the girl find true happiness when the space invading ex declares his undying love to her. Think about what you are really

doing, though, by being the space invading ex. When you are invading your ex's space in a relationship where your ex is genuinely happy, your invasion into that space is not romantic - it is selfish. Really, that's what it is in its true sense. Think about it. When you invade your ex's space, you are bringing stress not only to your ex but to their relationship. Stated simply, you are bringing unhappiness into your ex's happy space. The only person who is served by this space invasion is YOU.

5. Think How You Would Feel: Another person you need to consider if you are a space invading ex is your ex's current significant other. You need to put yourself in that person's shoes. Consider how you would feel if you were in a relationship with someone and that person's ex continued to invade your relationship space. How do you think it feels to know that your significant other has been on the phone throughout the day with their ex. Let me tell you how it feels. When someone is invading your relationship space, it makes you feel disconnected with your significant other. You can feel it happening.

Then when you get emails from your significant other telling you how emotionally drained they feel because their ex keeps calling, it causes you to feel emotionally drained yourself. You become emotionally drained because you start wondering what your significant other's ex said, and what your significant other thinks and feels about what the ex said.

After connecting with your significant other at an emotional and spiritual level deeper than you have with anyone else, to be in the dark about what was said by an ex is a terrible feeling. You want to be there for them and to help them through this, but you also don't want to be in the dark yourself. This space invasion likewise causes your ex's energy to be directed totally away from their currently happy relationship.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David Wygant

Dating Coach

Are you ready to finally find love?

David

www.davidwygant.com

Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by David Wygant:

10 Crazy Signs You're Falling In Love

By

I want us to forget about all our dating "issues" for one moment today. I want us to forget about the man who broke your heart two years ago, or the guy who took you on the most romantic date ever and then never called you again.I want us to forget about all the pressure, worry and frustration we normally feel about dating, and focus on one simple ... Read more

Girl, Stop Chasing That Guy. He Doesn't Want To Be Your Boyfriend

By

Today, I want to deal with a subject that really bothers me. Tens of thousands of people around the world suffer from "social disease." You may even be suffering with this affliction yourself right now. I'm going to explain what this "affliction" is and show you how to beat it if you're one of the many sufferers worldwide. What ... Read more

What Real Love Means To Me

By

There's nothing better than just spending time on the beach and relaxing. I live in L.A and we have tons of beaches there, but nothing is better than getting out the city for a while. There's nothing like taking the time to connect with friends and loved ones, instead of stressing over some date that went wrong or a guy who didn't call you ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.