7 Reasons To Stop Tormenting Your Ex

By

7 Reasons To Stop Tormenting Your Ex
An open letter you all you space invaders.

This article is an open letter to all of you space invaders out there. You know who you are ... or do you?

No, I'm not talking to those of you with an affinity for handling joysticks and playing early 80's video games with poor graphics and creatures making funny "gobbling" noises as they ate things. This open letter has nothing to do with video games. I'm also not talking rodents or anything else that invades your living space. I'm not even talking about clutter on your desk that gets in your way.

The space invaders I'm talking about here are ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends (we'll just collectively call them "ex's" here). This open letter is directed to all of you ex's out there who are space invaders tormenting your ex's.

Now I know all you space invading ex's know who you are, and this open letter is directed to you. So listen up and pay attention!

It's amazing. Ex's always seem to find their way back into your life to dump all of their own issues all over you at the very moment when you're most happy with someone else. It's like they have some kind of special radar which alerts them that it is the perfect time to try to get you back at the very moment you are in this most happy place.

They will have an epiphany wherein they decide they are a new person and that they need to convince you to give your relationship with the "new them" a second chance. In their mind they will think "Wait! My ex is with someone else. How could they possibly be with someone else? I realize now that if we get back together, everything will be different because I've changed. They need to give our relationship another try with the new me!"

This whole train of thought misses a critical point: your ex is your ex for a reason. They're an ex because you already learned the lesson that they did not satisfy you in ways you needed to be satisfied. They are an ex because your heart was not touched by them in ways your heart needed to be touched. Your ex is an ex because they weren't able to get into your soul and get deep into your core like you needed.

Regardless, there seems to be no shortage of ex's who are space invaders. So to all of you space invading ex's out there, here are seven reasons for you to stop invading your ex's space immediately:

1. Recognize What Your "Epiphany-Come-Lately" Really Means: It is no coincidence that so many ex's experience the sudden revelation that they need to convince their ex to give their relationship another try ONLY after that ex has found someone else with whom they are genuinely happy. You need to see this "epiphany-come-lately" for what it really is: your knee-jerk reaction to the fact that your ex is with someone else.

It is an only slightly more complicated version of the "you only want them now that you can't have them" syndrome. While you may believe that you all of a sudden see things differently, it is really a function of feeling like you are about to lose your ex unless you say something right now.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David Wygant

Dating Coach

Are you ready to finally find love?

David

www.davidwygant.com

Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by David Wygant:

If You're Queen Of The Dating List, Expect To Be Single Forever

By

Do you know one of the problems with us humans? We're completely obsessed with lists. Just look at the Internet and you'll see "10 Places You Must See Before You Die" or "10 Pictures You Won't Believe Exist." Then we have our "To Do" list that some people live and die by. If they get to the end of the day ... Read more

FACT! Short Men Last Longer (In Relationships)

By

One of the complaints I get from men all the time on my site, is that women only want to date tall men. In fact, I get hundreds of emails every week from “vertically challenged” men claiming their height is stopping them meeting women. Perhaps women ARE attracted to taller men, or perhaps guys with a little less in the leg, just have a poor ... Read more

The #1 Secret To Dating Happiness

By

Some people are too selfish to ever find dating happiness. Let me explain why. All dating seems to be for so many people is dumping their issues on someone else. So many people try to find the "perfect" person, even when none of us can be perfect. People go into dating without even having the basic relationship skills to make a relationship work. ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular