Forget the normal "He's wearing new aftershave" cliches. Here are 5 real signs he's not faithful.
Nobody wants to accept that they're a victim of infidelity, but your man has been acting differently and you don't know why. Are you just being paranoid, or is he being unfaithful to you?
Here are 5 tell-tale signs he's seeing someone else behind your back, and you won't find the usual "He's wearing new aftershave" clichés on this revealing list.
1. He keeps his phone on him and on silent.
When you started dating, your man would leave his phone all over the place. He wouldn't have a problem with his phone being on the kitchen table, on the arm of the sofa or by his bedside. Now all of a sudden it's always in his pocket. He never has it out in the open, and every now and then you'll spot him glancing at it.
This isn't a good sign, ladies. If this is compounded by the fact he suddenly has his phone on silent at all times, it might be time to do some further investigation. Think about it. If he has nothing to hide, why would he have his phone on silent during the day unless you were at the cinema or something?
2. He's over-affectionate.
He always liked a kiss and a cuddle, but now he's showing sudden bursts of affection for no apparent reason. Most women think a man will suddenly go cold if he's having an affair. In all the years I've been coaching men, the opposite is more likely.
Despite what you may think, most men have a lot of guilt when they're having an affair. He'll try to alleviate some of this guilt by giving you lots of cuddles. Remember, men are like big children a lot of the time and this is a typical child-like reaction to guilt. This is a big sign to look out for, especially if your man isn't normally the affectionate type.
3. He starts going to bed after you.
You'll only notice this sudden change in behaviour if you normally go to bed together, but beware if your man starts coming to bed after you. He'll say something like, "Oh I'll be up in a minute. I just need to send an email."
In reality he's probably going to send a few text messages to his mistress, or if he's feeling extremely brave he may even make a call to her. If you notice this sudden change in habit see if you can discretely see/hear what he's up to before he joins you in the bedroom.
4. He'll starts hiding evidence.
The chances are he'll hide his cell phone so you won't be able to see it anyway, but if you do get to look at it, you'll probably find no call history and an empty text message tray.
You'll find the same thing with his email, social media, and credit card bills. Any receipts you used to find in his trouser pockets will start to disappear, and if you share a PC you'll notice your browsing history will be cleared whenever you look. It's a man's way of hiding any possible evidence of his affair, except it's actually highlighting something's very wrong with him.
5. He buys new shoes.
Forget the normal stuff you hear about new aftershaves or a sudden haircut. New shoes are a huge flashing beacon that your man is having an affair; especially if he never normally bothers with his shoes.
If you're with a man who wears the same pair of trainers every day, or doesn't pay any attention to keeping his shoes clean, you need to worry when he starts buying new ones. Unless he's suddenly becoming fashion conscious, he'll know women look at men's shoes before anything else, and he wants to make a good impression on his other woman.
So what do you do if you notice any of these signs? Rather than attacking your man right away, sit down and talk to him. Tell him you're worried about his behavior, and let him know what signs concern you most. Here's the thing about men: Sure there are some real narcissistic men who can coldly have affairs without a hint of emotion, but the majority of men do feel a level of guilt when they're mid-affair. They're almost like the little boy who threw a rock through someone's window and then spends the next 3 months terrified his mom will find out.
He knows what he's doing is wrong, and he doesn't want you to find out. Why is he having this affair? If he's unhappy enough to sleep with someone else, why does he care if you find out?
Men cheat for a number of reasons. It could be he has self-esteem issues, it could be he's scared of commitment and he's testing himself to see if he's ready to settle down, he might have issues where he saw infidelity growing up and now he's acting out what he saw, or of course he could just be a player who has no intentions of being faithful.
The good news is it's much easier to tell if you're with potential cheat IF you understand men, and the way you we think. In fact, once you truly understand how to spot certain traits in men, you'll be able to avoid starting a relationship with a cheater in the first place.
In my successful women's dating program “What Men Desire” I help you understand the male mind. I explain some of our most confusing behavior, and reveal what makes men go cold, and exactly what we desire in a girlfriend. It's the ultimate guide to man designed so never again will you feel confused by a man and his behavior.
For more advice on infidelity from YourTango:
- How To Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless [EXPERT]
- How to Move On From A Painful Breakup
- Divorce: Expert Advice & Survival Tips