You know, it's funny how differently people conduct their dating life from every other aspect of their life. Do you realize that if you conducted your dating life like your business life, that you would probably be a far more successful dater? Think about it – your follow-ups would be better, your memory would be better . . . and your manners would be better. Not only that, but how you come across to others would be better because you would not be so emotionally-driven and attached to every single outcome.
One of the most common dating situations in which people always seem to lose their “business skills” is deciding when to return the phone call after someone leaves them a message. A lot of people seem to feel it necessary to create some super-special strategy to decide when to return that phone message. This is the most ridiculous thing in the world!
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So let's go into it so we can settle this issue once and for all. In the area of dating, when do you call someone back after they have left you a phone message?
Here are 5 phone rules that everyone should following when dating:
1. Be Prompt. When They're Prompt. If you gave out your phone number and somebody calls you within 24 hours, then you should call them back within 24 hours. There should be none of this “waiting four or five days to call” business. When someone has called you within 24 hours, that's called momentum. It's called momentum for a reason, and so many people in dating lose that momentum very quickly by not promptly returning phone calls. Even if you're busy, call the person back promptly to let them know that you're busy and tell them you will connect with them in a few days when your schedule settles down. To wait four or five days to return a phone message, however, to me is simply rude. You would never do this in your business life, yet that is what so many people do in their dating life.
2. If They Waited, You May Also Wait. You've given your phone number to someone, and that person waits four or five days to call you. As far as I'm concerned, when that happens you are entitled to wait four or five days to return that person's call. That person did not make you a priority, and they played games. Although the person decided to call you, what they were likely actually doing during those four or five days was debating whether they wanted to call you. This shows lack of interest. I know that when I get a woman's phone number and I wait four or five days to call her, that I'm really not that interested in her and I really don't care whether or not she calls me back.
3. It's OK To Call Right Back. If someone calls you promptly after you've given them your phone number, then you should call them back within 24 hours – but it is even perfectly fine to call them back the same night they call you. It doesn't look desperate. It looks like you actually have manners, that you're someone who pays attention to detail, and that you're someone who respects other people's time. Think about this for a second. When someone calls you, they are taking time out of their day to talk to you. So it is not only “ok,” but really simple courtesy, to acknowledge this with a promptly returned phone call. This is something we do in business every day without ever thinking twice about it, but we don't do this in our dating life because we conduct it with emotionally-based decisions.
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