Do you consider yourself shy? Do you walk around and say to yourself “I wish I weren't shy so I could approach people.”
When I hear someone label themselves as “shy,” I know they are limiting their opportunities to meet and connect with people every day. Being shy isn't a physical trait like having brown eyes ... you can eliminate it and overcome it.
Here are 4 tips to help you forever overcome your dating shyness:
1. Eliminate Shyness From Your Identity: If someone asks you if you're shy, what is your answer? Do you say “Yes, I am a shy person.” When you say that, you are accepting that being shy is just part of who you are – that it's part of your identity. By you telling yourself (and others) that you are a shy person, you are negatively affecting your own mindset. It is very limiting. One of the first, and most important ways to overcome shyness is to be conscious about eliminating it as part of your identity. One way to get to that place if you are having trouble is to speak about yourself as if you've already overcome your shyness. The next time someone asks you if you're shy, you can say “I am no longer a shy person.” As you continue to say this, you will believe it.
2. Stop Listening To The Monkey Chatter In Your Head: What goes on in your head and what do you think about when you feel shy? Do a whole bunch of different thoughts go through your your mind like monkey chatter you hear at the Central Park Zoo? Are there what seems like hundreds of monkeys screaming all different things in you ear, none of which are good thoughts? Do you think that you can't talk to members of the opposite sex because you're shy? Do you believe that people next to you are thinking negative things about you because of your shyness, or about how you look or about anything else about you? You need to stop listening to all of this negative talk in your head. Be aware of when your perception about a situation comes solely from these negative thoughts in your head, and then consciously choose to ignore them. You need to stop speculating and assuming things about what's going on around you based on then negative chatter in your head. It will lead you astray every time.