Step away from the search engine...
Remember back in the 90s, when there wasn't anything called Google?
You would meet somebody organically when you were out with friends or when you go to the grocery store. Back in the day you had to use the phone and talk to the person. You found out a little bit about each other.
It was just enough to intrigue you to go face to face on a date. You meet on the first date and ask each other questions. No opinions are formed yet. A relationship can bloom.
The mystery becomes clearer. The person in front of you becomes clearer the more you learn about them. They start learning about you. This is how connections form. The relationship is slow and build steady. There’s a strong foundation.
Please stop Googling men before you meet them. The magic of boy meets girl is mysterious. And here's why!
1. You will have zero chemistry with someone you've researched.
Now-a-days, we Google somebody and that foundation is never built. We don’t get to learn about a partner, because we’ve already done the research. And I’m sorry, but women are the guiltiest of doing this.
Are you dating for real or is this just research?
You’re cheating yourself out of chemistry when you pre-Google a date. You come in with a skewed and often negative opinion of that person. A first date is about falling into the relationship.
2. You don't want them to Google you?
Would they know about your divorce if someone Googled you? The trouble your kid got into? Could they learn about your bad credit history? What about the terrible picture your sister posted?
The person on the Internet is not the same person as the one who is going on a date with you. Internet history doesn’t come with context. There’s always an explanation for how and why things went down the way they did. We’ve all got baggage. Everybody has a skeleton in his or her closet. Our mistakes do not define us. Our mistakes are not a sign of who we will become. They’re just mistakes.
3. Not everyone you meet will be psychotic.
The excuse I hear most when people Google their dates is, “There are so many crazies out there. He might be a psycho killer. This guy could be a maniac, an ex-con or a rapist.”
I don't think so. Most of the people you meet are not bad. Most of the people on Earth are not psycho killers. Most of the people you meet in your day-to-day life or through the Internet are not super fucking crazy.
Trust your judgment when you meet someone new. When you flirt with somebody, text somebody, talk to them on the phone, you can trust what your gut is telling you. If you’re not sure, agree to meet in a public place. There are apps you can use to send a timed emergency alert if you don’t turn it off by the time the date ends.
What you're Googling is only half of the story. You’ve only read one person’s version of the story. Get the story directly from your date’s mouth. Trust your instincts because they’re almost always right.