How to Avoid The Fourteen Dating Traps


How to Avoid The Fourteen Dating Traps
Here are all the dating mistakes singles make and solid strategies for finding the love of your life

Believing that what you see is what you get. Making hasty long-term relationship decisions based on short-term impressions and inferences instead of actual experience and knowledge. Getting involved in a relationship focusing on potential, hoping that some things that you really need to happen will get better or change over time. Results in seeing what you want to see. Relationship failure results when later reality doesn’t match.

Strategy: Assume “you don’t know what you don’t know” and stay in a “pre-committed” stage until you have solid experience and knowledge that this is the right relationship for you. Finding a life partner is not a race – it is a journey. Don’t rush to win the booby prize!

14. Lone Ranger Trap

You live your single life focused on your goal of finding your life partner, believing that you don’t need anyone else in your life. You evaluate people you meet for their relationship potential only and do not take the opportunity to cultivate new friends. Results in isolation, perception of scarcity of potential partners and risk of settling for less than what you really want because you don’t want to be alone.

Strategy: Develop a support network/community of friends of both genders and be supportable by enrolling them to scout for you.

Intimidating list, isn't it? Recognize yourself in one or more of these traps? (Personally, I count nine traps that I've fallen into!) Here's the good news; these are all patterns of choice making that can be changed simply by being aware of them. Simple, but not always easy without support from our friends, family, therapist, coach, etc. This is the most important journey of your life- my top recommendation would be to get the support you need to avoid these dating traps so you can finally find the love of your life and live happily ever after.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

David Steele


David Steele, MA, LMFT
Founder, Relationship Coaching Institute


Location: Campbell, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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